Sleeping nightmare

I really need to get Blakely's 3 year post up!  I have it written (typed) out and have for weeks but I haven't taken her pictures because I haven't gotten the energy up to do it.  Anyway, eventually it will happen but for now I wanted to share about the insane mess nighttime has become.  

Like seriously.  

She has always gone to bed really really good.  Lonnie and I would always pat ourselves on the back for that.  Ha!  Even when she was a baby we would lay her in her crib still awake and she easily put herself to bed.  Basically her whole life she loved going to bed.  There have been few hiccups here and there (potty training and when she turned 2 she realized she could procrastinate)  but overall she has never really given us any major problems.  Even when she moved to the big girl bed!

Well now she's like "I'll show them"!  Literally for the two months, maybe three (probably three), she screams bloody murder when we leave her room.  It is a serious shit show.  Lonnie and I argue over who is going to put her down at night because it is a terrible experience.  Everything is fine at first.  We read our books and sing songs or whatever but when it is time for her to actually go to sleep she freaks the eff out.  Flails in her bed.  Throws the pillows and covers off.  Jumps on the bed.  Falls off the bed on purpose.  Screams at the top of her lungs.  Cries like her life is over.  So dramatic.  What in the hell? 

She doesn't leave her room though.  Although I am sure she will now because I typed those words.  When she goes to bed she knows Darwin (our dog) is roaming the house so she won't leave her room because she doesn't know exactly where he is.  That freaks her out for some reason, I'm not complaining.

There have been times over the last couple of years that we would have to go back down to her room to comfort her, put socks on her, or turn the nightlight on that we forgot to turn on but nothing like this....ever.  I feel like it was such a gradual change from super sweet snuggly nighttime Blakely to now all of the sudden holy terror takes-over-an-hour-to-go-to-sleept nighttime Blakely.  And I do not like it one bit.  It takes forever for her to finally go to sleep and it completely ruins our evenings.  

Just leave her in there to cry?  Okay.  It doesn't ever stop.  Once she is completely hysterical with blubbering sobs and can't talk I can calm her down and get her to sleep.  But by that time the whole night is shot for everyone and it has been hours.  Go back in and console her sooner?  That works.  For about 5 minutes.  Then the screaming commences again.  Over and over and over.  For hours.  

I don't know how we got to this point?  It is beyond frustrating.  And no, she is not scared.  She is being naughty.  

So I had enough.  I went to Walm.art and bought a little kitchen timer.  I decided Lonnie and I needed to lay out some rules.  We waited until during the day to talk to her about everything because at night she isn't listening to a thing.  We sat her down and told her the new rules that were going to effect.  Basically this is the deal...

We are setting the timer for 10 minutes once we get downstairs and in our jammies.  If she fights us with putting on the jammies then the timer starts right then.  During those 10 minutes she can do whatever she wants.  Read books, sing songs, play hide and seek, try on all her shoes, whatever.  But once that timer goes off it is lights out and time for sleep.  That is it.  Mommy and Daddy are not coming back down for any reason unless it is to get her in trouble.  If she continues with her crazy crying behavior and we have to go back downstairs then she gets a timeout.  If we have to come back downstairs again then she loses her TV shows for the next day.  We usually let her cry quite a bit instead of just running back down there to get her in trouble.  But honestly it seems to work better to go immediately back down and give her a timeout.  Every night is a new night.  You never know what is going to work.  If she goes right to sleep like she is supposed to then she can have a treat the next day (skittle or marshmallow) or we can add a few minutes to the timer.  Our plan was not to do this every day but eventually give her a treat if she did it 3 days in a row or a week in a row once we got this new routine down.  She said she understood and she wanted to be a good girl and didn't want to get in trouble.  Okayyyy...

The first night she was excited about the timer.  Basically wanted to play with that instead of read.  She did okay.  She did get a timeout but she wasn't hysterical like usual.  She got the timeout mainly so Lonnie and I could make her understand that we were for real.  

The second and third nights she went right to sleep.  Lonnie and I were celebrating!  

Then the last three nights have been back to hell.  Well I shouldn't say that exactly.  She hasn't been hysterical freak out Blakely.  She just mainly whines and whimpers with quite a bit of screaming thrown in.  I feel like she is just testing us.  Are they really going to give me timeouts.  Ummm, yes.  

The crazy thing is...she is so freaking tired.  Like when she gets the timeouts she yells at me that she needs a pillow because she has to close her eyes, can't keep them open.  Then she usually goes right to sleep after the timeout.  It is so very frustrating.  We are worn out.  And, yes, I have tried putting her to bed earlier to see if that helped, it didn't.  It is like she is doing it just to get in trouble and then she passes out because she is so tired.  

I know this is a phase and it is easier for me to understand that 3 years in to this parenting thing but, damn, I am ready for this phase to pass.  I think this new routine will work but I am ready for that to happen NOW.  I don't like getting her in trouble.  It makes me feel guilty because I get very frustrated and worked up.  Lonnie is cool as a cucumber...he just doesn't let it get him riled up.  Me?  I've got my heart racing and blood boiling.  Don't you think that should mean he gets to put her to bed every night?  ;)  

We are trying to stay consistent and so far so good.  Let me tell it sucks to take away her TV shows.  She only watches 2 a day, one before nap and one before bed.  So it really just makes my life difficult when she doesn't get to watch them bc she freaks out.  But I think it is working.  She is understanding that things get taken away when she is naughty.  I am to the point I want to take every single toy in this house and put is up.  And I will.  Oh I will if I have to.  The next thing she loses is her baby dolls.  That is her most favorite thing to play with.  Last night I told her if she didn't go to sleep right then I was taking all the baby dolls away and she couldn't play with them the next day.  Her head hit the pillow like a rock and we didn't hear another peep.  We are getting there.  But we still dread bedtime.  Lots of crying, timeouts and threats.  Ugh.  

Of course the going to sleep isn't the only issue we are having.  It is just the BIGGEST issue. Apparently the trying three's are no joke.  The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that it WILL pass and knowing that I am not the only one dealing with this.  Hearing stories of other parents and their three year olds helps.  At dance the other night a couple of other moms were sharing about how their child has become so difficult lately with sleeping and acting out.  I was thinking to myself, "Hallelujah"!  I have decided that parenting a three year old requires wine.  Or vodka.  Or maybe both.  Which helps me none.  :/

Please tell me your three year olds are hell raisers right now too?  And then sweet as can be 10 minutes later when you are still fuming and taking deep breaths to calm down?