some details

I ended my last post saying that Lonnie and I felt very encouraged after our phone consult.  I will give you a little rundown of why.  

We started off the conversation by going over my lengthy infertility history.  All of the testing and all of the procedures included.  Since this happened sooner than we had planned, my medical records had not yet made it to his office but he had gone over the detailed history forms I had filled out online.  

We talked a little about my thick zona pellucidas (covering around the eggs) and about the embryos we have made and how they grew (not many and not great, in general).  We talked about reasons why I didn’t produce many eggs during my last 2 IVF’s.  We talked about how we have always done our embryo transfers on day three and not day five.  Just basic infertility stuff really.  We broached the subject of donor eggs or embryos with him.  We are not ready to take that step yet but I wanted to know if he thought we should.  Was it worth another try for our own biological child?  His answer was a definite yes.  No hesitation, just yes.  He thinks he can help us if we want to try again.  He was very clear that if he thought we needed to go the route of donor eggs or embryos he would tell us.  That really made me feel better.  I know he doesn’t know all that much about me yet but I really needed someone to tell me that I (or my eggs specifically) were not a lost cause.  He was not salesman-like because, believe me, that would have turned me off instantly.  He just simply said we need more eggs, if possible, and we need to grow better embryos.  They have one of the best labs in the country and he went into many details on this subject.  Details I will save you from having to read ;)  

In my mind (and I believe in Lonnie’s as well) it all comes down to one thing.  The labs.  This doctor (Let’s call him Dr. S, I guess) told us that the greatest difference between any clinic is the lab.  The doctors trained in infertility are all very similar (yes, there are differences but generally speaking) and the medications used are generally the same anywhere you go.  All labs are different.  This is something Lonnie and I never thought that much about.  

I am trying hard to explain our feelings on this without everyone thinking that our old clinic has a bad lab.  They do not at all and I do not want anyone to think that!!  They are wonderful and they gave us our Blakely and other chances to get pregnant.  They succeed in making families on the daily.  They perform miracles and I am so so thankful for the work they have done for us and for their many other patients.  

That being said, apparently my case is not the easiest.  My thickened zonas have made it difficult to perform ICSI and then have made it difficult for the embryos to grow from there.  If I thought our old clinic was not good at what they do I wouldn’t have done 5 IVF’s with them!  I am just simply trying to explain how Lonnie and I are feeling and how we are trying to come to a decision on expanding our family.

We talked about the process of doing an IVF when you are 1,000 miles away.  Oh wait, I haven’t mentioned that?  Yeah, far far away.  It actually doesn’t seem as crazy once he explained the process in detail.  Although, still pretty crazy.  

Here is the deal and this is where Lonnie and I are right now.  No matter how many eggs I produce or how thick my zonas happen to be, we feel like this new clinic’s lab can do more with it.  And I don’t mean more as in number.  I mean more as in just please help us to get a few (one? two?  I’m not picky) good ones that will stick and complete our family.  We feel like we have tried multiple times with our old clinic and if we did that again we wouldn’t really be trying anything new or different.  This is very important to us as many of you can imagine.  We want to do everything possible to give us the best chance of expanding our family.  I know there will come a time when we have to jump off this baby making train and I want to do it knowing that we tried everything we could think of.  That we actually tried something different.  We are really leaning towards going for it with this new clinic in Denver.  Of course, “going for it” is a long process when you live this far away.

We still have our appointment with Dr. B this Thursday and I still want to hear what he has to say about another cycle.  But, if I’m being honest, I think our decision has already been made.  We will see how this all plays out but, like I said the other day, we have hope and that is worth so much to us.