I have no idea what I am doing.

If you follow me on Inst.agram (email me if you would like to!) then you have seen that we are potty training.  Yikes.  

Let me start this by saying that I was forced into it.  I was not ready and showed no signs of becoming ready anytime soon.  Blakely had other plans for me.  She forced my hand and here we are.  Naked 99% of the time and peeing like a big girl.  I am still not ready for this but HERE WE ARE!  

Very tiny, small and quick recap on how we got here.  In bullets...

• she has had her little potty beside "my potty" for months.  
• she though it was a toy for months.  
• she started wanting to sit on it and pretend to pee like mommy about a month ago.  Because watching "mom-meeee peeeeeeee" is so fun!
• I started putting her on the potty before and after bath about a month ago.  And, voila!  She peed.  
• Things got real about 2 weeks ago when she brought her potty into the living room and peed in it.  I could not ignore her any longer.  She was over diapers.  

Small recap about this mama.  

• I have not read any books or articles on how to potty train.  This is weird for me.  Normally I would have devoured all information available in order to do this correctly. Therefore I feel very lost.  I thought I had a while before I needed to know how to do this.  I was wrong.  
• I have no idea what I am doing.  
• send reinforcements.  

Since it was looking like the child was going to potty train herself if I didn't step it up, I decided to go out and buy her some panties and some P.ull up.s.  

I knew she would do better with this whole thing if she was naked.  She has always loved nakey time and since she was about a year old she didn't like having accidents.  She would point to the pee spot on the floor and yell UH OH! UH OH! for 30 minutes after I had cleaned up the spot.  When she started showing signs of being ready to potty train a month or two ago I knew the best way for her to do it was to be naked.  

So that is what we have done.  This child has been naked 99% of the time for the past 2 weeks.  She says Pu.ll u.ps are diapers, so they are a no go, and the panties are being used as blankets for her dolls.  Nakey it is.  

This was on day one.  She has since boycotted shirts as well...

I am sure you don't want to read the detailed day to day about her bathroom habits but I will tell you these important things in bullets.  

• naked toddlers are the cutest thing ever.  Besides nakey babies of course.  
• she will probably become a nudist now.  I get her dressed.  She takes her clothes off.  Repeat.  40,231 times a day.  Starting to really miss those cloth diapers with snaps.  
• the i.p.ad was invented for potty training. 

• she has been rewarded for peeing or pooping in the potty with stamps.  My genius husband came up with this idea. 
• because of the stamps she looks like a homeless child that hasn't had a bath in weeks.  See, stamping on paper is not NEAR as fun as stamping all over one's body.  
• I have a collection of approximately 75 stamps.  Completely useless.  
• She thinks Lonnie's trainer Alan pees and poops in the potty REALLY REALLY good.  He is covered in tattoos and every time he comes over she can't stop staring at them and says "poop" and "peeeeee".   
• I have about 500 pictures of her on the potty and/or running around like a naked crazy toddler/monkey.  

• Lonnie doesn't think it is that cute when I text him pictures of her potty "results".  Too bad dad.  
• we may never leave the house again.  I have gone stir crazy.  Obvi.

life...

• I am trying not to stress about any of this and just play it cool.  Just follow her lead and all that.  Lonnie's exact words were, "Oh my God, chill out!".  Obviously I don't know how to "play it cool".  
• eventually we will venture out of the house with just panties and no diaper (in like a year).  As soon as I can get her to keep the panties on (in like a year).  

So that is life up in here.  Send vodka and toilet paper.