12 weeks!

So as of yesterday I am 12 weeks along in this pregnancy.  It still sometimes seems surreal to even say that although I am getting more used to the fact that I am actually pregnant.  I am not sure if I will do these updates weekly here or not.  I know most of you won't really care about a lot of the stuff that is in them but I do want to document this pregnancy and, of course, compare to my previous pregnancy.  I may move it over to a new page that you guys can check out or I may not because I am lazy.  I print this blog into a book every year so I would like to keep the updates going but we will see.  No pressure.  ;)

How Far Along: 12 weeks

(ignore the hideous gold shower.  we had to choose to redo our kitchen/baths or do IVF....easy choice)

And look at that belly.  I mean for real.  I don't know if it is the twin pregnancy thing or the second pregnancy thing but my pants don't fit.  Like at all.  

This was at 11 weeks.  Blakely wanted to take a picture of the babies...she talks about them a lot.  She has started calling them her baby budder and baby sister and I nearly die every single time.  

Maternity Clothes:  None yet but I need to get some.  I have a few oversized sweaters that I am hoping will get me through.  All of my maternity clothes are spring/summer stuff.  I would kill for some amazing fleece lined leggings though!  Suggestions?  

Sleep:  Sleep sucks but it is Blakely's fault.  Ha!  I won't get into that here but seriously?  What happened to my angel sleeper?  

Best Moment of the Week:  We checked on the babes the other day and they were so freaking adorable.  They were spinning and flipping around in there.  Lonnie and I giggled the whole time he was scanning me.  I can't wait to see them again!  

Movement:  nope but can't wait for that!

Symptoms:  Wellllll let me see here.  I hate to even type this out but I didn't throw up the past 2 days.  And I even had a little bit more energy.  I know this because I didn't take a nap which is crazy because Blakely was spending time at my mom's so I had the perfect opportunity for one.  Before that I was throwing up at least once a day and nauseated 24/7.  I was having dreams about throwing up.  When Blakely would get up in the middle of the night to pee (don't even get me started on that one) I would be dry heaving while she was peeing...not fun.  But I hope I am turning the corner and am going to get some energy soon because we have a lot to do to our house.  

I pee all the time and I have started having headaches.  I had those with Blakely for what seemed like the whole time.    

Food Cravings/Aversions:  The only real craving I have had is a lemon meringue pie.  I really like sour/sweet and that sounds so freaking good.  I found one in town but it wasn't that great.  I am hoping my MIL will make me one soon!  For the last 2 months I have had an aversion to ALL food except sour apple blow pops.  Those things are bomb and I could eat on them all day long.  They are also the only thing that makes the nausea better for a little bit.  Other than that I just need to eat a little something every couple of hours to prevent that OMG I AM GOING TO PASS OUT GIVE ME FOOD RIGHT NOW feeling.  

Gender: boy/girl

What I Miss:  caffeine

What I'm Looking Forward to:  feeling these babes move in there.  I felt Blakely for sure at about 18 weeks so I wonder when I will feel these two.  And what is it like to feel 2 moving in there?  So pumped for that.  I am also looking forward to visiting Lonnie's family for Thanksgiving this week.  We rarely get to see them so Blakely is going to have so much fun with her cousins.  

Milestones:  I am almost completely weaned off all of my medication.  I am so very happy about that!  I am taking one injection every other day and if everything looks good on my lab on Wednesday then I get to stop that one.  My booty will be so happy.  It is so bruised up and painful.  Actually it is numb but hurts like hell...weird.  After that I am guessing I will be done with the clinic in Denver.  Happy about that but emotional about it as well.  

We have started putting up our Christmas tree and I can't tell you how fun that has been.  Blakely is really into it and wants to help with everything.  She is fascinated by the lights and I teared up yesterday watching her stare at the tree.  She is just so grown up these days and decorating for Christmas with my child is one of those things I have waited my whole life for but didn't even realize it.  

I hope everyone has a wonderful short week!  

Cancelled

So remember the Disney trip I told y'all I was planning...or have basically planned?  

Well.....it's cancelled.  

Boo :(

I went for my first OB appointment a couple of weeks ago and we did all the normal chatty stuff.  At the very end I decided to talk to him about the trip.  I think I waited until the end because I knew what he was going to say.  I said, "So we have this trip to Disney planned in March..." and he did some quick math in his head and said, "Oh, I don't think that you do...".  

I will be 27 weeks and he said he didn't recommend it because it was too risky...basically because it is Disney.  Lots of walking, more walking and then walking some more.  I told him that we had planned a very low key trip (or I tried anyway) but he wasn't excited about me going anywhere that far away after about 24 weeks.  He said the risk for pre-term labor is the highest at 24-27 weeks and I will be going in weekly to for monitoring then.  I 100% trust him.  He is going to be very conservative with me and that makes me feel good.  I know this is the right thing to do but, DAMMIT, why did I have to go and plan everything already?  (Oh that's right because twins never entered my mind while planning)

Sigh...

I was pretty sad about it.  I was so looking forward to it.  Blakely would LOVE it and I feel like she is at the perfect age for it.  I was hoping this would be a fun last thing to do before we rocked her world with 2 new babies.  When we left his office Lonnie could tell I was sad about it but I told him I couldn't talk about it.  I didn't want to cry because that would be ridiculous.  

Now it is a few weeks later and I am fine with it.  I mean all I want is 2 healthy babies at the end of this and I will do whatever it takes.  Whatever.  It.  Takes.  Stay home for the next 5.5 months?  Done.  Lay on the couch all day everyday?  Done as well (maybe this is what I am already doing???)  Seriously, whatever it takes.  It's not like she is going to grow out of this princess stage within the next year.  I have to remind myself of that!  

I thought about moving the trip up to early January and I am still thinking about it.  But I have already made all of our dining reservations and most of the places we want (bc of the characters for her) are already booked up for then.  Insane but true.  So now I am thinking of trying to convince Lonnie that we need to go next December.  Ya know with Blakely and two 6-7 months olds!  Pretty sure he isn't going to go for that but I hear that is easier than taking them when they are 18 mo-2 years old?  (Remind me of this when the babies actually get here...I am sure I will laugh my ass off)  Obviously we would take a grandparent too!  Anyway, we will see.  The point is that Disney will still be there.  These babies are what matters right now.  In the meantime I will live vicariously through you all because I know quite a few of you have trips coming up.  Can't wait to hear all about them!  

Sleeping nightmare

I really need to get Blakely's 3 year post up!  I have it written (typed) out and have for weeks but I haven't taken her pictures because I haven't gotten the energy up to do it.  Anyway, eventually it will happen but for now I wanted to share about the insane mess nighttime has become.  

Like seriously.  

She has always gone to bed really really good.  Lonnie and I would always pat ourselves on the back for that.  Ha!  Even when she was a baby we would lay her in her crib still awake and she easily put herself to bed.  Basically her whole life she loved going to bed.  There have been few hiccups here and there (potty training and when she turned 2 she realized she could procrastinate)  but overall she has never really given us any major problems.  Even when she moved to the big girl bed!

Well now she's like "I'll show them"!  Literally for the two months, maybe three (probably three), she screams bloody murder when we leave her room.  It is a serious shit show.  Lonnie and I argue over who is going to put her down at night because it is a terrible experience.  Everything is fine at first.  We read our books and sing songs or whatever but when it is time for her to actually go to sleep she freaks the eff out.  Flails in her bed.  Throws the pillows and covers off.  Jumps on the bed.  Falls off the bed on purpose.  Screams at the top of her lungs.  Cries like her life is over.  So dramatic.  What in the hell? 

She doesn't leave her room though.  Although I am sure she will now because I typed those words.  When she goes to bed she knows Darwin (our dog) is roaming the house so she won't leave her room because she doesn't know exactly where he is.  That freaks her out for some reason, I'm not complaining.

There have been times over the last couple of years that we would have to go back down to her room to comfort her, put socks on her, or turn the nightlight on that we forgot to turn on but nothing like this....ever.  I feel like it was such a gradual change from super sweet snuggly nighttime Blakely to now all of the sudden holy terror takes-over-an-hour-to-go-to-sleept nighttime Blakely.  And I do not like it one bit.  It takes forever for her to finally go to sleep and it completely ruins our evenings.  

Just leave her in there to cry?  Okay.  It doesn't ever stop.  Once she is completely hysterical with blubbering sobs and can't talk I can calm her down and get her to sleep.  But by that time the whole night is shot for everyone and it has been hours.  Go back in and console her sooner?  That works.  For about 5 minutes.  Then the screaming commences again.  Over and over and over.  For hours.  

I don't know how we got to this point?  It is beyond frustrating.  And no, she is not scared.  She is being naughty.  

So I had enough.  I went to Walm.art and bought a little kitchen timer.  I decided Lonnie and I needed to lay out some rules.  We waited until during the day to talk to her about everything because at night she isn't listening to a thing.  We sat her down and told her the new rules that were going to effect.  Basically this is the deal...

We are setting the timer for 10 minutes once we get downstairs and in our jammies.  If she fights us with putting on the jammies then the timer starts right then.  During those 10 minutes she can do whatever she wants.  Read books, sing songs, play hide and seek, try on all her shoes, whatever.  But once that timer goes off it is lights out and time for sleep.  That is it.  Mommy and Daddy are not coming back down for any reason unless it is to get her in trouble.  If she continues with her crazy crying behavior and we have to go back downstairs then she gets a timeout.  If we have to come back downstairs again then she loses her TV shows for the next day.  We usually let her cry quite a bit instead of just running back down there to get her in trouble.  But honestly it seems to work better to go immediately back down and give her a timeout.  Every night is a new night.  You never know what is going to work.  If she goes right to sleep like she is supposed to then she can have a treat the next day (skittle or marshmallow) or we can add a few minutes to the timer.  Our plan was not to do this every day but eventually give her a treat if she did it 3 days in a row or a week in a row once we got this new routine down.  She said she understood and she wanted to be a good girl and didn't want to get in trouble.  Okayyyy...

The first night she was excited about the timer.  Basically wanted to play with that instead of read.  She did okay.  She did get a timeout but she wasn't hysterical like usual.  She got the timeout mainly so Lonnie and I could make her understand that we were for real.  

The second and third nights she went right to sleep.  Lonnie and I were celebrating!  

Then the last three nights have been back to hell.  Well I shouldn't say that exactly.  She hasn't been hysterical freak out Blakely.  She just mainly whines and whimpers with quite a bit of screaming thrown in.  I feel like she is just testing us.  Are they really going to give me timeouts.  Ummm, yes.  

The crazy thing is...she is so freaking tired.  Like when she gets the timeouts she yells at me that she needs a pillow because she has to close her eyes, can't keep them open.  Then she usually goes right to sleep after the timeout.  It is so very frustrating.  We are worn out.  And, yes, I have tried putting her to bed earlier to see if that helped, it didn't.  It is like she is doing it just to get in trouble and then she passes out because she is so tired.  

I know this is a phase and it is easier for me to understand that 3 years in to this parenting thing but, damn, I am ready for this phase to pass.  I think this new routine will work but I am ready for that to happen NOW.  I don't like getting her in trouble.  It makes me feel guilty because I get very frustrated and worked up.  Lonnie is cool as a cucumber...he just doesn't let it get him riled up.  Me?  I've got my heart racing and blood boiling.  Don't you think that should mean he gets to put her to bed every night?  ;)  

We are trying to stay consistent and so far so good.  Let me tell it sucks to take away her TV shows.  She only watches 2 a day, one before nap and one before bed.  So it really just makes my life difficult when she doesn't get to watch them bc she freaks out.  But I think it is working.  She is understanding that things get taken away when she is naughty.  I am to the point I want to take every single toy in this house and put is up.  And I will.  Oh I will if I have to.  The next thing she loses is her baby dolls.  That is her most favorite thing to play with.  Last night I told her if she didn't go to sleep right then I was taking all the baby dolls away and she couldn't play with them the next day.  Her head hit the pillow like a rock and we didn't hear another peep.  We are getting there.  But we still dread bedtime.  Lots of crying, timeouts and threats.  Ugh.  

Of course the going to sleep isn't the only issue we are having.  It is just the BIGGEST issue. Apparently the trying three's are no joke.  The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that it WILL pass and knowing that I am not the only one dealing with this.  Hearing stories of other parents and their three year olds helps.  At dance the other night a couple of other moms were sharing about how their child has become so difficult lately with sleeping and acting out.  I was thinking to myself, "Hallelujah"!  I have decided that parenting a three year old requires wine.  Or vodka.  Or maybe both.  Which helps me none.  :/

Please tell me your three year olds are hell raisers right now too?  And then sweet as can be 10 minutes later when you are still fuming and taking deep breaths to calm down?  

How we did it.

We finally decided to let everyone know about this pregnancy.  Well, actually, a lot of people already knew.  Mainly because people knew about our trip to Denver and all that we had gone through this time around.  But there were still a chunk of people that did not know that we wanted to tell.  Ya know, like our own child!  

We told her when I was about 8 1/2 weeks after my second official ultrasound.  I kept thinking up fun ways to tell her but nothing just really seemed to stick with me.  Finally I just wanted to tell her and I didn't care how we did it.  

I bought two little sleepers (gender neutral because we didn't know yet...hard to find!) and wrapped them up.  Lonnie and I sat down with her and told her we had a really big surprise for her.  She opened them up and immediately thought they were for her baby dolls.  We said yes they could wear them but who else could wear them?  She said real babies.  Then we asked her if she wanted to have real babies come live with us.  She thought that sounded real fun.  I said, "you know how Mommy hasn't been able to pick you up and my tummy hurt a little while ago"?  She said yes and asked if my tummy was better now.  I said that it was but the reason for all of that was because there are two little babies growing in my tummy.  I swear the look on her face was exactly like in the picture below.  She was literally so surprised.  This surprised Lonnie because he didn't really expect to get such a reaction out of her.  It was so adorable and I, of course, cried!  She said she wanted to hold them and I told her they have to grow really big and strong and then when they are ready to come out she can hold them.  She said she wanted to see them so I showed her and ultrasound picture which meant nothing to her...ha!  We talked to her about my tummy getting big and then she could feel the babies.  She was really interested and really excited.  She said she would help me change their diapers and give them bottles.  It was seriously one of the best moments ever.  I soaked it all in.  We were all sitting on the couch snuggling and talking about the new babies.  A moment I didn't think would ever happen and I was living it.  I am so lucky.  

I figured she would tell everyone immediately and she did at first.  She told my mom (who knew but acted like she didn't) and the same with my mother in law.  I thought she would tell her teachers at school but it took her about a week to do that.  I picked her up one day last week and the director pulled me to the side.  She said during lunch Blakely had told her something.  At first I was like OMG did Blakely get in trouble?  Because she never does at school.  Then she said Blakely told her there were 2 babies in my tummy and she was going to be a big sister.  I said it was true and she figured it was just one and I said oh it is 2!  They were all super excited.  It was pretty fun :)

I knew I was going to officially announce last weekend.  Lonnie and I knew the genders since my 8 1/2 week checkup.  I asked my nurse in Denver when I could find out and she said right now!  It was so crazy to know.  Lonnie and I decided to keep that a secret for a little bit.  We never got the have the secret of me being pregnant like most couples do so it was nice for just the two of us to know this and no one else for a while.  

Lonnie didn't know that I was going to ask the nurse so he had no clue that I knew.  I left a few notes for him around the house that led to Blakely's room and the reveal.  I made up a little poem that ended with something like "we are going to need to buy a few new toys because you are going to be the Daddy of another girl and a boy".  I wasn't home when he read them so he called me and it was really exciting and special.  Love that man of mine.  

I started trying to think of ways to announce and then I found this shirt on E.tsy.  I thought it would be a great way to announce the pregnancy to those who didn't know but also to announce the genders to everyone.  

It took my mom and mother in law a good 10 minutes to figure it out when they came over and B had the shirt on.  It was pretty funny.

So there ya go.  I am pregnant with a boy and a girl.  Life couldn't be more perfect right now.  I have to pinch myself often.  I don't know how I got to be so lucky!  Sometimes the negative creeps up in my mind or the superstitious side of me starts to take over.  I really have to force myself not to be this way.  I am trying to enjoy the moments and not think about all of the bad things that can happen.  That is really hard for me but I am doing better.  

A couple of notes...
Blakely doesn't care a thing about it being a brother and a sister.  She just wants "babies".
The clinic knows the gender of the babies because of the chromosome testing we had done when they were day 5 embryos.  More on that here.

SURPRISE!

Ice Cream Third Birthday Party

I decided on an ice cream theme for Blakely's party this year.  I wanted something that was pretty easy and that I wouldn't have to spend a bunch of time on.  Knowing I was going to be in Denver and then on light activity leading up to the party I tried to do all the crafting before I left.  Which I did but I didn't do much of.  I just made some ice cream cones and bought some fabric for the table.  I purchased the banner which I usually make and that made life easier!  I did the party at 2 in the afternoon so I wouldn't have to serve a lot of food and could just do the ice cream bar and a couple of little snacks.  It worked out great and I am so glad that I went with easy.  With the way I have been feeling lately I can't imagine if I had tried to go over the top as I have in recent years.  Sidenote...Lonnie still thinks this is "over the top".  He doesn't think we need to do a party at all.  Is he the crazy one or am I?  That's what I thought...sorry honey!  

Can we just talk about how cute her skirt is?  I could not find an outfit that I liked anywhere and then finally found this cute ice cream print fabric at this Etsy shop.  

This is her "what do I get for letting you take all these pictures" face. 

Invitation, banner, and food tent cards from HERE.  They were awesome and I will definitely use them again for any invite needs.  

Dining room setup

I let Blakely pick out the toppings that she wanted.  She picked M&M's, Skittles, sprinkles, marshmallows, and gummy bears.  I found these trays with four each so I added chopped up cookies, mini peanut butter cups and mini chocolate chips.  Most of the kids put a little of everything on their ice cream and Blakely went back for seconds, of course.  

Can we talk about this cake?  I found a picture of a cake like this online...not sure where just goo.gled ice cream cakes and sent the picture to my local bakery.  They did an awesome job.  And they even did it for me twice since we had to cancel the first party.  I could never get cake anywhere else, they did our wedding cake too!  Blakely requested strawberry cake and at first that didn't sound good to me but it was delicious!  

When everyone arrived we mingled around and let the kids play for a bit.  Then we all ate our ice cream and snacks.  

Blakely with Grand and Aunt Jerry

Blakely and Jenni

Blakely and Pop Pop.  And then she was DONE with pictures!  

I bought a little piñata for the kids to beat on.  They thought it was really fun but it was impossible to break!  Lonnie had to cut a bunch of holes in it so it would finally break open.  

Then we did presents.  Man, this girl is so lucky.  She got a ton of new stuff.  She did really good opening but probably only because I had a major talk with her before the party.  I knew she would want to play with the first thing and then forget all the other presents.  I explained we would open them all and then she could play with them.  I was proud of her saying thank you although she could have one a little better at that!  

Literally her favorite present.  A package of preemie diapers for her babies!  

Then we sang Happy Birthday and ate the cake!  

All in all it was a super fun day.  I know she had a great time and she still talks about it and wants her friends to come back over.  Love this little family of mine!   

Halloween fun

Blakely had a great Halloween this year!  She got to have 3 parties so three chances to dress up.  But, who am I kidding, every day is a day of dress up around here.  But this time she got to wear it out in public and everyone else was dressed up too.  Fun times.  

I had been looking for shoes for her birthday outfit and finally found these cowboy boots that weren't too tall for her skirt.  So it hit me that she should wear them on Halloween too.  The cowgirl outfit was born.  

We all went to a party last Saturday and she had a great time.  There were a lot of bigger kids there and they fascinate her.  I took all of these pictures then because I just couldn't seem to get the real camera out the other two times she dressed up.  Maybe because we were running major late and I didn't have time.  Maybe.  

Then Tuesday at her dance class they all dressed up and had a fun little party.  She loves dance class.  I know she loves the actual dancing but I think she loves playing with all her new friends even more.  Trying to get a picture of 8 little girls it pretty comical.  

Then on actual Halloween we did a little trick or treating.  We did the same thing we have done the last 2 years: Lonnie's office, my dad's dealership and then my grandmother's house.  I think we can get away with just that for a few more years before delving into the whole neighborhood trick or treat action.  

By the way, I walked in on this about 30 minutes before we had to leave to go trick or treating....  Hand soap...

All the girls at Lonnie's office love when I bring Blakely in there and this time was no different.  She wasn't as shy this time so that was good too.  I'm sure it had to do with the fact that they were giving her treats!  When we left there she told me, "Mommy, they are all so sweet".  :)  After that we were going to head to my Dad's dealership but we had a little bit before the costume contest started there so we ran by the hospital to see Daddy.  She had been a bit disappointed when he wasn't at his office so this made her happy.  

Then we headed to the dealership.  My Dad always loves showing B off, of course.  She had a fun time playing with a few of the other kids and getting more candy.  I was wearing down at this point (zero stamina, I know) so I thought it was time to head to my Grand's house.  My mom and aunts were going to be there and there was pizza...yes.  They had some fun things for Blakely (not just candy, yay!) and all she wanted to do was dig into her loot.  And I may have eaten a few starbursts as well.  We stayed there for a bout an hour before heading home.  I think Blakely's favorite thing of the night was playing with my cousin's 2 new kittens.  She didn't want to leave them and keeps asking to bring them home.  Not happening.  

All in all it was a good Halloween.  The best part for me was eating her candy.  I swear the only thing that makes me not pukey is sweets.  Ugh!  So I have been having a treat here or there just to try and keep stuff down.  Yuck.  Anyway, fun holiday and now I am ready for some Christmas planning!