I know. I just killed you with cuteness. This is how B was struttin' around yesterday afternoon. Boy short panties and mini high heels. Lonnie nearly fainted when he saw this picture. TEENAGER.
Also, she has on panties AND a shirt. Mommy win!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
wordless wednesday
I know. I just killed you with cuteness. This is how B was struttin' around yesterday afternoon. Boy short panties and mini high heels. Lonnie nearly fainted when he saw this picture. TEENAGER.
Also, she has on panties AND a shirt. Mommy win!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
So let's do a little bit of catch-up.
I love a good catch up post, don't you? No? Oh.... Well, sorry, but catch up it is today!
My bestest friend, Sarah, is getting married and they finally set a date. She is also my only friend that knows about my blog. (Hi!) Anyway, she asked me to be her matron of honor. I am pretty sure I shed a few tears. Still get a little teary when I think about it. I can't wait to stand up there when she marries CJ. She deserves the absolute best and I am so lucky to have her as my friend...for over 15 years. Geeez...here I am a "matron" of honor and talking about knowing someone for over 15 years. OLD.
But what is even more is that she asked if B could be a flower girl! Hello! How exciting is that news? I can't even imagine the cuteness. What I can imagine is B screaming UH OH! every time the other flower girl throws her flowers. Yep. It could happen.
Who me?
Speaking of Sarah, her bunco group (I was in it before I had B) went to a local painting place this month instead of playing bunco and invited me to go. I had never been to something like that and it was a lot of fun. They had the cross and the line down the left side already traced on the canvas but other than that you could do what you want. I definitely want to do it again but maybe a flower or a razorback next time?!
I promise we have shorts on...
My sweet darling husband sent Blakely and I flowers a few days after the IVF fiasco. They came to the door and I literally could not think of a single person that would send me flowers. (This was only the second time in our 8 years together that he has sent flowers...just not a flower guy!) I opened the card and it said "I love my girls". I started crying and Blakely looked at me with a very concerned face, said "uh-vuu" (love you), and then hugged me. Let's move on before I cry about that one again.
Lonnie was off for a few days last week and he decided that I needed a break. Well, maybe I told him that I did. He asked me what I wanted to do and I said "SLEEP IN!" I haven't slept in in a really long time. Sometimes he will get up with her on the weekend but I can hear her and I can't get back to sleep. Mommy problems. Anyway, he told me to go to a hotel and spend the night. By myself. At first I was like, NO. But then he kept playing it up. "You could go shopping all day, by yourself!" "You could get hotel breakfast in bed, and not have to share!" (He knows me so well.) So, I finally decided to take him up on his offer.
I went about an hour away (where the shopping is) and shopped all day. It was glorious. I spent way too much money (shhhh) and just enjoyed the heck out of myself. At around 3 that afternoon it was either go get the hotel room or drive home. I was really on the fence but I bit the bullet and got a room. No looking back after paying for it. I called Lonnie from the parking lot before I did it and he was like "omg...just do it already!" Let me tell you. I had the most relaxing time. I ordered room service, I watched crap on tv, and I slept in. Until 1030. I felt like I was back in college and sleeping the day away. Oh I missed my B for sure. But I knew she was having a great time with her daddy when I got this picture.
HE PAINTED HER TOENAILS. I DIE. (and stamps for pooping..)
Monday, July 29, 2013
I have no idea what I am doing.
If you follow me on Inst.agram (email me if you would like to!) then you have seen that we are potty training. Yikes.
Let me start this by saying that I was forced into it. I was not ready and showed no signs of becoming ready anytime soon. Blakely had other plans for me. She forced my hand and here we are. Naked 99% of the time and peeing like a big girl. I am still not ready for this but HERE WE ARE!
Very tiny, small and quick recap on how we got here. In bullets...
Let me start this by saying that I was forced into it. I was not ready and showed no signs of becoming ready anytime soon. Blakely had other plans for me. She forced my hand and here we are. Naked 99% of the time and peeing like a big girl. I am still not ready for this but HERE WE ARE!
Very tiny, small and quick recap on how we got here. In bullets...
- she has had her little potty beside "my potty" for months.
- she though it was a toy for months.
- she started wanting to sit on it and pretend to pee like mommy about a month ago. Because watching "mom-meeee peeeeeeee" is so fun!
- I started putting her on the potty before and after bath about a month ago. And, voila! She peed.
- Things got real about 2 weeks ago when she brought her potty into the living room and peed in it. I could not ignore her any longer. She was over diapers.
Small recap about this mama.
- I have not read any books or articles on how to potty train. This is weird for me. Normally I would have devoured all information available in order to do this correctly. Therefore I feel very lost. I thought I had a while before I needed to know how to do this. I was wrong.
- I have no idea what I am doing.
- send reinforcements.
Since it was looking like the child was going to potty train herself if I didn't step it up, I decided to go out and buy her some panties and some P.ull up.s.
I knew she would do better with this whole thing if she was naked. She has always loved nakey time and since she was about a year old she didn't like having accidents. She would point to the pee spot on the floor and yell UH OH! UH OH! for 30 minutes after I had cleaned up the spot. When she started showing signs of being ready to potty train a month or two ago I knew the best way for her to do it was to be naked.
So that is what we have done. This child has been naked 99% of the time for the past 2 weeks. She says Pu.ll u.ps are diapers, so they are a no go, and the panties are being used as blankets for her dolls. Nakey it is.
This was on day one. She has since boycotted shirts as well...
I am sure you don't want to read the detailed day to day about her bathroom habits but I will tell you these important things in bullets.
- naked toddlers are the cutest thing ever. Besides nakey babies of course.
- she will probably become a nudist now. I get her dressed. She takes her clothes off. Repeat. 40,231 times a day. Starting to really miss those cloth diapers with snaps.
- the i.p.ad was invented for potty training.
- she has been rewarded for peeing or pooping in the potty with stamps. My genius husband came up with this idea.
- because of the stamps she looks like a homeless child that hasn't had a bath in weeks. See, stamping on paper is not NEAR as fun as stamping all over one's body.
- I have a collection of approximately 75 stamps. Completely useless.
- She thinks Lonnie's trainer Alan pees and poops in the potty REALLY REALLY good. He is covered in tattoos and every time he comes over she can't stop staring at them and says "poop" and "peeeeee".
- I have about 500 pictures of her on the potty and/or running around like a naked crazy toddler/monkey.
- Lonnie doesn't think it is that cute when I text him pictures of her potty "results". Too bad dad.
- we may never leave the house again. I have gone stir crazy. Obvi.
life...
- I am trying not to stress about any of this and just play it cool. Just follow her lead and all that. Lonnie's exact words were, "Oh my God, chill out!". Obviously I don't know how to "play it cool".
- eventually we will venture out of the house with just panties and no diaper (in like a year). As soon as I can get her to keep the panties on (in like a year).
So that is life up in here. Send vodka and toilet paper.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
21 months
I think it is time for me to get back to blogging. :)
Ten days ago, on the 13th, my sweet girl turned 21 months old. I am behind on writing this and thought about skipping it (gasp!) because she has changed so much just in these ten days that all of this is such old news. But I haven't skipped one yet so here ya go!
She will say "I love you" without us saying it first. Best words ever.
We have spent quite a bit of time outside this month. Probably because this now lives in our backyard....
You can imagine how hard it is to keep this girl off the play set. Her favorite thing is climbing the rock wall, the ladder and the rope ladder. She can do them all without my help except the rope ladder. She can climb it but can't quite get over the ledge at the top.
She is liking the pool more and more. She gets a little more brave each time. We plan on spending even more time in the pool this next month. (We don't have a pool but thankfully know quite a few people who do!
She loves bubbles. They play with bubbles at gymnastics each week and she screams and giggles so much. Occasionally we play with them here at the house and she lerves it.
I think she is going to love playing dress-up. This is how she came in one day. Minnie ears are a hit and, of course, she has a purse. And something wrapped around her shoulders. It may or may not be underwear.... And we all know her love for shoes. I can't wait to get her all kinds of dress up clothes!
She loves me. Like seriously loves her mommy. It makes me feel so good. She has healed my heart and I can't help but smile every single time I think about her. She will come up to me and give me a hug many times a day. She sometimes just looks over at me while we are eating lunch and says "I love you". I mean....
Ten days ago, on the 13th, my sweet girl turned 21 months old. I am behind on writing this and thought about skipping it (gasp!) because she has changed so much just in these ten days that all of this is such old news. But I haven't skipped one yet so here ya go!
She will say "I love you" without us saying it first. Best words ever.
We have spent quite a bit of time outside this month. Probably because this now lives in our backyard....
You can imagine how hard it is to keep this girl off the play set. Her favorite thing is climbing the rock wall, the ladder and the rope ladder. She can do them all without my help except the rope ladder. She can climb it but can't quite get over the ledge at the top.
She is liking the pool more and more. She gets a little more brave each time. We plan on spending even more time in the pool this next month. (We don't have a pool but thankfully know quite a few people who do!
I think she is going to love playing dress-up. This is how she came in one day. Minnie ears are a hit and, of course, she has a purse. And something wrapped around her shoulders. It may or may not be underwear.... And we all know her love for shoes. I can't wait to get her all kinds of dress up clothes!
She loves me. Like seriously loves her mommy. It makes me feel so good. She has healed my heart and I can't help but smile every single time I think about her. She will come up to me and give me a hug many times a day. She sometimes just looks over at me while we are eating lunch and says "I love you". I mean....
Friday, July 12, 2013
I am going to tell you a story. Part 5.
*A reminder. All of this was written on Sunday July 7. I have added some things at the bottom of this post to address some questions that have come up over the past week.*
I know this story has been long. I really appreciate anyone who reads it. It has been very cathartic for me to write everything down. It is helping me to move on. I am going to end this story with my thoughts on the whole thing.
As I said in the last post, I am still in shock that this happened to us. I have a lot of emotions swirling around in me.
I am pissed. They screwed up my "last" chance to get pregnant. How can I not be angry? I seem to be getting a bit angrier by the day.
I am sad. Obviously. All I wanted was a chance to get pregnant. I went through all of that just to have it end because of someone else's mistake. Forget all of the physical pain because I can get over that, but the emotional pain is what hurts the most.
I sort of blame myself. What if I had said something about ICSI to someone at any point in time. Would that have changed the outcome? I signed consents for ICSI. I thought that was enough. I didn't think I needed to "remind" them.
I feel sorry for Dr. B. I know some may be surprised by this but I really do. I know he didn't want to make that call to me. I know he would never want this to happen. I know he didn't sleep that night knowing that he was going to rock my world the next day. And I guarantee he hasn't stopped thinking about it since. He is the doctor. He takes all the blame when anyone messes up. Believe me. My husband has to apologize for others mistakes all the time. I know he will never forget this mistake that his clinic made. I cannot be angry at him.
The clinic is in a state of upheaval. I knew it when I learned that Dr. M quit. I should have known when I got that first call from the nurse and she didn't know what cycle day I was on. If there is anything positive that can come of what happened to us, it is this. They will change the way they do things. They will not become complacent again. They will double check every detail from now on. I know it. I know these people. I have been going there since 2009. I know they want the best for their patients. I know this mistake is not going to fade out of their minds soon. They will all be very aware that they can screw up, and in the business they are in, it messes with people's lives, minds and bodies. As horrific as this mistake was, I know that it could have been worse. Not much worse but still worse. And I know they know that too. I know this is a great clinic and I would not have my miracle Blakely without each and every one of them. I am not writing any of this to bash them. I am thankful for them. I am writing all of this to help myself heal and to share my story with y'all.
I have allowed myself a few days to wallow in self pity. I have eaten crappy food, drank caffeine for the first time in months (whoa!) and enjoyed a few adult beverages. I am going to pull myself out of this funk soon.
After reflecting for a few days and accepting that I have to move on from these emotions, I am still left with this. I am confused. How can we let our last try for a baby be this one? How can we go out like that? How do you accept that you will never be pregnant again when on your last try someone else messed up your chance? I can't do it. I cannot accept this IVF as our last try for a baby. I just can't do it.
Now. There is no way I am in a place to try again right now. I don't know that I will ever be ready to do IVF again. I am worn out. Over the next few months Lonnie and I will be doing a lot of thinking and talking. I can't accept that as our last try but I don't think I can do IVF again. See? I am confused. The clinic has offered us a full refund of our money. We can also just do a free cycle instead of getting a refund if we want. We are going to take the refund and I am going to buy myself something nice. Something really freaking nice.
Again, thank you all for listening. I have shed many tears writing this but it has really helped me to get out of my funk. Blogging is the best. Blog friends are even better.
This little blue eyed beauty makes everything better as well. :)
-This is a really great clinic that made a bad mistake. I can forgive but I will not be able to ever forget. If we wanted another opinion at a different clinic we would have to travel a minimum of 3 hours away. An option but not a great one.
-Dr. B made a judgement call in allowing the eggs and sperm to at least try to fertilize instead of freezing the eggs. I also had not signed a consent for egg freezing so there is that. He did tell me that the covering around my eggs was not as thick as it had been in the past but he also said that he "was pretty sure" they wouldn't fertilize.
-The embryologist that WAS there was not trained in ICSI. He is in the process of learning but it is a very long and detailed thing to be able to do it. Dr. B even told me he thought about letting the guy try and see what happened. In the end he felt that was unethical and did not allow it. I agree.
-I'd be happy to answer any more questions if there are any. I try to respond via email when someone comments but not everyone has an email attached to their blogger profile. (Get one!) So comment with a question or just email me.
Y'all. What in the world would I do without you? I really just want to say again how thankful I am to have made such great friends through this blog. You guys have been amazing through this story and I appreciate you reading. Thank you all so much for the sweet words of encouragement on each post and for genuinely caring about me and my family. I know I haven't "met" many of you but I feel very attached to you and your families as well. Thank you for being there for me. It means more than I can express in words.
I know this story has been long. I really appreciate anyone who reads it. It has been very cathartic for me to write everything down. It is helping me to move on. I am going to end this story with my thoughts on the whole thing.
As I said in the last post, I am still in shock that this happened to us. I have a lot of emotions swirling around in me.
I am pissed. They screwed up my "last" chance to get pregnant. How can I not be angry? I seem to be getting a bit angrier by the day.
I am sad. Obviously. All I wanted was a chance to get pregnant. I went through all of that just to have it end because of someone else's mistake. Forget all of the physical pain because I can get over that, but the emotional pain is what hurts the most.
I sort of blame myself. What if I had said something about ICSI to someone at any point in time. Would that have changed the outcome? I signed consents for ICSI. I thought that was enough. I didn't think I needed to "remind" them.
I feel sorry for Dr. B. I know some may be surprised by this but I really do. I know he didn't want to make that call to me. I know he would never want this to happen. I know he didn't sleep that night knowing that he was going to rock my world the next day. And I guarantee he hasn't stopped thinking about it since. He is the doctor. He takes all the blame when anyone messes up. Believe me. My husband has to apologize for others mistakes all the time. I know he will never forget this mistake that his clinic made. I cannot be angry at him.
The clinic is in a state of upheaval. I knew it when I learned that Dr. M quit. I should have known when I got that first call from the nurse and she didn't know what cycle day I was on. If there is anything positive that can come of what happened to us, it is this. They will change the way they do things. They will not become complacent again. They will double check every detail from now on. I know it. I know these people. I have been going there since 2009. I know they want the best for their patients. I know this mistake is not going to fade out of their minds soon. They will all be very aware that they can screw up, and in the business they are in, it messes with people's lives, minds and bodies. As horrific as this mistake was, I know that it could have been worse. Not much worse but still worse. And I know they know that too. I know this is a great clinic and I would not have my miracle Blakely without each and every one of them. I am not writing any of this to bash them. I am thankful for them. I am writing all of this to help myself heal and to share my story with y'all.
I have allowed myself a few days to wallow in self pity. I have eaten crappy food, drank caffeine for the first time in months (whoa!) and enjoyed a few adult beverages. I am going to pull myself out of this funk soon.
After reflecting for a few days and accepting that I have to move on from these emotions, I am still left with this. I am confused. How can we let our last try for a baby be this one? How can we go out like that? How do you accept that you will never be pregnant again when on your last try someone else messed up your chance? I can't do it. I cannot accept this IVF as our last try for a baby. I just can't do it.
Now. There is no way I am in a place to try again right now. I don't know that I will ever be ready to do IVF again. I am worn out. Over the next few months Lonnie and I will be doing a lot of thinking and talking. I can't accept that as our last try but I don't think I can do IVF again. See? I am confused. The clinic has offered us a full refund of our money. We can also just do a free cycle instead of getting a refund if we want. We are going to take the refund and I am going to buy myself something nice. Something really freaking nice.
Again, thank you all for listening. I have shed many tears writing this but it has really helped me to get out of my funk. Blogging is the best. Blog friends are even better.
This little blue eyed beauty makes everything better as well. :)
-This is a really great clinic that made a bad mistake. I can forgive but I will not be able to ever forget. If we wanted another opinion at a different clinic we would have to travel a minimum of 3 hours away. An option but not a great one.
-Dr. B made a judgement call in allowing the eggs and sperm to at least try to fertilize instead of freezing the eggs. I also had not signed a consent for egg freezing so there is that. He did tell me that the covering around my eggs was not as thick as it had been in the past but he also said that he "was pretty sure" they wouldn't fertilize.
-The embryologist that WAS there was not trained in ICSI. He is in the process of learning but it is a very long and detailed thing to be able to do it. Dr. B even told me he thought about letting the guy try and see what happened. In the end he felt that was unethical and did not allow it. I agree.
-I'd be happy to answer any more questions if there are any. I try to respond via email when someone comments but not everyone has an email attached to their blogger profile. (Get one!) So comment with a question or just email me.
Y'all. What in the world would I do without you? I really just want to say again how thankful I am to have made such great friends through this blog. You guys have been amazing through this story and I appreciate you reading. Thank you all so much for the sweet words of encouragement on each post and for genuinely caring about me and my family. I know I haven't "met" many of you but I feel very attached to you and your families as well. Thank you for being there for me. It means more than I can express in words.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
I am going to tell you a story. Part 4
This is part 4 in my story of our fifth IVF.
Lonnie and I got to the clinic on Thursday the 4th of July at 830. I brought them donuts because I know no one wants to be at work on a holiday!
I knew going into the retrieval that we would not be getting as many eggs as we had in the past. I wasn't concerning myself with the number. I just wanted some mature eggs that could be fertilized so I could have a chance at getting pregnant.
In order to continue this story I need to back up a little bit and tell you (for those that do not know) a little bit about the reason for our infertility and explain a little bit of the IVF process. I will keep this pretty simple but I feel that it is needed in order to understand what happens next. I have the "Our journey" tab at the top that goes into all the details of our struggle with infertility and you can check that out if you are interested. It is lengthy.
We had unexplained infertility until our first IVF. In "normal" IVF, after the egg is retrieved from the ovary it is put into a dish. Then a bunch of sperm are put into each dish with each egg and they watch the magic happen. The day after your retrieval they call you to let you know how many eggs were fertilized. They call you each day to let you know how your embryos are growing until they decide they are ready to be transferred...usually 3 days or 5 days after the egg retrieval.
On our first IVF, I got a call the day after our egg retrieval, from Dr. M, telling me that we didn't have any eggs fertilize. That was not the phone call I was expecting. We had retrieved 12 eggs so I had my hopes up very high. To say I was upset would be an understatement. I won't go into that but we did find out why we had been unable to get pregnant. The outer covering of my eggs (the zona pellucida) is very thick and the sperm are not able to penetrate. I was told this was pretty rare but there was something they could do. We could do IVF with ICSI. ICSI is when they inject the sperm directly into the egg to fertilize it. So from then on we knew we had to do IVF with ICSI and we did for the following IVF's.
Ok. Back to this story. Dr. B was able to retrieve 7 eggs. That was a pretty low number but I was still hopeful. We came home that day and I slept the rest of the day. I could not relax until I knew the results of fertilization. I listened to my Cir.cle + Bl.oom many times trying to relax and think positively about my little fighter embryos growing growing growing.
The next day I tried to stay busy even though I was still in pain. Lonnie, B and I went to the grocery store. Right when we got back in the car my phone rang.
It was Dr. B. Not the nurse like usual.
My stomach dropped. I just knew. Only doctors give bad news.
He told me that we did not have any fertilization. I looked at Lonnie and shook my head.
Then he rocked my world. He told me that they did not do the ICSI. I am just going to say that again. THEY DID NOT INJECT THE SPERM INTO THE EGGS. In other words...they completely and totally fucked up.
From this point on it is a bit of a blur. I know that I burst into tears complete with sobs and shakes. I threw the phone to Lonnie because I could not even speak. Dr. B told him the same thing and began to explain but Lonnie told him we would have to call him back. I was a mess and B was starting to cry in the back seat.
The did not do ICSI. The most important detail. The reason we were having this done in the first place. No embryos.
I did not have a chance to get pregnant. No embryos. They did not do ICSI. It is all over. Just like that.
We came home and I went straight to bed. It was the middle of the day. I haven't cried that hard in a long time. The only time I can even remember coming close is when I got the "no fertilization" call with our first IVF. But that time I knew we had other options next time.
I got up a few hours later and told Lonnie we had to call Dr. B back because I needed to know more. How did this happen? How in the fuck did this happen? Did they just forget? I mean, so many questions.
I talked to Dr. B for almost an hour. I got some answers. None of them helped me to feel better. How can they? I am still left with no embryos. He understood that. He made no excuses. He explained how it happened but he took full responsibility. He was emotional right along with me. There were a lot screw ups from the beginning but the basic fuck up was this. The embryologist who does the ICSI was not working that week. I should have never been scheduled to have my IVF during that time. They did not realize this until right after the retrieval. There was nothing they could do. It should have been caught many times throughout this process. Keep in mind I started birth control pills to begin this IVF at the end of May. THE END OF MAY. I fell through the cracks... Just unbelievable.
I am still in shock from what happened. Even a week later I can not even believe that the clinic messed up and did not do the ICSI. I am hurting. I could have handled the embryos just not sticking and getting a negative pregnancy test in 2 weeks. But this? This is really hard to take. They failed me and I had a lot on the line. I am just sick.
Part one
Part two
Part three
Lonnie and I got to the clinic on Thursday the 4th of July at 830. I brought them donuts because I know no one wants to be at work on a holiday!
I knew going into the retrieval that we would not be getting as many eggs as we had in the past. I wasn't concerning myself with the number. I just wanted some mature eggs that could be fertilized so I could have a chance at getting pregnant.
In order to continue this story I need to back up a little bit and tell you (for those that do not know) a little bit about the reason for our infertility and explain a little bit of the IVF process. I will keep this pretty simple but I feel that it is needed in order to understand what happens next. I have the "Our journey" tab at the top that goes into all the details of our struggle with infertility and you can check that out if you are interested. It is lengthy.
We had unexplained infertility until our first IVF. In "normal" IVF, after the egg is retrieved from the ovary it is put into a dish. Then a bunch of sperm are put into each dish with each egg and they watch the magic happen. The day after your retrieval they call you to let you know how many eggs were fertilized. They call you each day to let you know how your embryos are growing until they decide they are ready to be transferred...usually 3 days or 5 days after the egg retrieval.
On our first IVF, I got a call the day after our egg retrieval, from Dr. M, telling me that we didn't have any eggs fertilize. That was not the phone call I was expecting. We had retrieved 12 eggs so I had my hopes up very high. To say I was upset would be an understatement. I won't go into that but we did find out why we had been unable to get pregnant. The outer covering of my eggs (the zona pellucida) is very thick and the sperm are not able to penetrate. I was told this was pretty rare but there was something they could do. We could do IVF with ICSI. ICSI is when they inject the sperm directly into the egg to fertilize it. So from then on we knew we had to do IVF with ICSI and we did for the following IVF's.
Ok. Back to this story. Dr. B was able to retrieve 7 eggs. That was a pretty low number but I was still hopeful. We came home that day and I slept the rest of the day. I could not relax until I knew the results of fertilization. I listened to my Cir.cle + Bl.oom many times trying to relax and think positively about my little fighter embryos growing growing growing.
The next day I tried to stay busy even though I was still in pain. Lonnie, B and I went to the grocery store. Right when we got back in the car my phone rang.
It was Dr. B. Not the nurse like usual.
My stomach dropped. I just knew. Only doctors give bad news.
He told me that we did not have any fertilization. I looked at Lonnie and shook my head.
Then he rocked my world. He told me that they did not do the ICSI. I am just going to say that again. THEY DID NOT INJECT THE SPERM INTO THE EGGS. In other words...they completely and totally fucked up.
From this point on it is a bit of a blur. I know that I burst into tears complete with sobs and shakes. I threw the phone to Lonnie because I could not even speak. Dr. B told him the same thing and began to explain but Lonnie told him we would have to call him back. I was a mess and B was starting to cry in the back seat.
The did not do ICSI. The most important detail. The reason we were having this done in the first place. No embryos.
I did not have a chance to get pregnant. No embryos. They did not do ICSI. It is all over. Just like that.
We came home and I went straight to bed. It was the middle of the day. I haven't cried that hard in a long time. The only time I can even remember coming close is when I got the "no fertilization" call with our first IVF. But that time I knew we had other options next time.
I got up a few hours later and told Lonnie we had to call Dr. B back because I needed to know more. How did this happen? How in the fuck did this happen? Did they just forget? I mean, so many questions.
I talked to Dr. B for almost an hour. I got some answers. None of them helped me to feel better. How can they? I am still left with no embryos. He understood that. He made no excuses. He explained how it happened but he took full responsibility. He was emotional right along with me. There were a lot screw ups from the beginning but the basic fuck up was this. The embryologist who does the ICSI was not working that week. I should have never been scheduled to have my IVF during that time. They did not realize this until right after the retrieval. There was nothing they could do. It should have been caught many times throughout this process. Keep in mind I started birth control pills to begin this IVF at the end of May. THE END OF MAY. I fell through the cracks... Just unbelievable.
I am still in shock from what happened. Even a week later I can not even believe that the clinic messed up and did not do the ICSI. I am hurting. I could have handled the embryos just not sticking and getting a negative pregnancy test in 2 weeks. But this? This is really hard to take. They failed me and I had a lot on the line. I am just sick.
Part one
Part two
Part three
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
I am going to tell you a story. Part 3
This is part three of my story about our fifth IVF.
I left off yesterday with me increasing my medication and being told to go back to the clinic in 3 days.
I headed back to the clinic on Friday for lab and ultrasound. This was my first ultrasound to see the follicles. The results were not that awesome but they weren't terrible either. My left ovary (which is usually a rockstar) only had 2 follicles and the right ovary (usually lags behind) had 7-8. I could deal with that. Like I said in part one of this story....I just wanted a chance to get pregnant.
I saw Dr. M that day. He is actually my main doctor but I have seen all of them many times. If you remember during our last IVF we retrieved 13 eggs. Out of those 13 we only had 3 that were mature. I wanted to make sure each of the doctors looked back at that cycle during this cycle to compare and to hopefully get more mature eggs this time. Only the mature eggs can be fertilized.
On that Friday I spoke with Dr. M about this. He told me that he was the one on call that weekend and he would look back at all of my cycles. He suggested possibly doing the stimulation medications an extra day to try to get more mature eggs. I felt good that I had talked to him about it and that he was going to be the one I would see all weekend. I would have been happy with any of the doctors but I liked the idea of having the same one all weekend.
In all of my other cycles I have taken the trigger shot on Sunday night and had the egg retrieval on Tuesday so that is why I had asked about the doctor on call for the weekend. I felt like he would be the one making the decision as to when to trigger and whether or not to stim for an extra day.
Anyway. Friday afternoon they called me with my results and told me to continue the same meds and come back on Sunday morning.
I did just that. When I got there on Sunday Dr. MS walked in the room. I thought that was odd since Dr. M specifically told me he would be the one there. I went through the whole spiel with him about not having many mature eggs last time and really wanting to try to get more mature eggs this cycle just like I did with Dr. M on Friday. After the ultrasound he said that he thought I would probably stim one more day if not 2 more but he would have to check my lab to make sure. Later that day he called and said to continue the same meds that night and come back to the clinic in the morning...Monday morning.
I was very happy with that. That meant I was going one day longer than I ever had and I felt very hopeful that would help with my egg maturity.
I went back to the clinic on Monday morning. This time it is Dr. B. I love him and I saw him the entire cycle when I got pregnant with B. He takes plenty of time to talk to each patient so I knew he would hear me out. I went through my whole spiel about egg maturity with him. This was my third time. I was being proactive because I felt like I needed to make sure they understood how important this cycle was. After my ultrasound he told me to come back into his office.
When I sit down the first thing he says to me is this.
"Dr. M is no longer practicing here so you will be seeing Dr. MS and myself the rest of the time."
Seriously? Dr. M quit on Friday afternoon. Quit. Resigned. Retired. Whatever. He quit on a Friday afternoon (soon after I had my talk with him!) heading into his call weekend.
I worked in the medical field for years. My husband is a physician. That is one of the worst things you can do. If one of my husbands partners did that, I mean, I can't even really imagine it. I am sure there is much more to the story that I don't know (I've heard maybe he had some medical issues) so I will just leave it at that. Dr. M left the practice and left Dr. B and Dr. MS to take care of all the patients.
Another sign? Maybe... But I was only looking for hopeful signs.
Back to the story. Dr. B listened to me about this cycle. He knows me well. I have seen him the most out of any of the 3 doctors in the practice. I trust him. I know he is very thorough. I was not concerned that my main doctor had quit. I knew Dr. B would take care of me.
He called me Monday afternoon and said he wanted me to stim for one more day. (This meant going back to the clinic the next day for monitoring.) He thought I may have one egg that would be "post mature" but I had quite a few others that he thought could mature after one more day. I was very happy with this. I felt like we were doing something different and hopefully would get a different outcome.
I headed back to the clinic on Tuesday. Keep in mind I had been on the hormones 2 days longer than I ever had. I was uncomfortable. I was bitchy. It is 2 hours round trip to this clinic and I had been there Friday, Sunday, Monday, and now Tuesday. I was ready for a retrieval. More than ready.
Tuesday afternoon the nurse calls to tell me that I am ready to trigger. I will get detailed here. The trigger shot is Ovid.ril. You take this at a very specific time and you have the egg retrieval exactly 36 hours after. This medication stimulates ovulation and helps to mature the eggs. I was told to take the shot at 10pm and be at the clinic on the 4th of July at 830.
A 4th of July retrieval! That sounded good to me. Surely a holiday is a good day to make some babies...
Part one
Part two
Part four
I left off yesterday with me increasing my medication and being told to go back to the clinic in 3 days.
I headed back to the clinic on Friday for lab and ultrasound. This was my first ultrasound to see the follicles. The results were not that awesome but they weren't terrible either. My left ovary (which is usually a rockstar) only had 2 follicles and the right ovary (usually lags behind) had 7-8. I could deal with that. Like I said in part one of this story....I just wanted a chance to get pregnant.
I saw Dr. M that day. He is actually my main doctor but I have seen all of them many times. If you remember during our last IVF we retrieved 13 eggs. Out of those 13 we only had 3 that were mature. I wanted to make sure each of the doctors looked back at that cycle during this cycle to compare and to hopefully get more mature eggs this time. Only the mature eggs can be fertilized.
On that Friday I spoke with Dr. M about this. He told me that he was the one on call that weekend and he would look back at all of my cycles. He suggested possibly doing the stimulation medications an extra day to try to get more mature eggs. I felt good that I had talked to him about it and that he was going to be the one I would see all weekend. I would have been happy with any of the doctors but I liked the idea of having the same one all weekend.
In all of my other cycles I have taken the trigger shot on Sunday night and had the egg retrieval on Tuesday so that is why I had asked about the doctor on call for the weekend. I felt like he would be the one making the decision as to when to trigger and whether or not to stim for an extra day.
Anyway. Friday afternoon they called me with my results and told me to continue the same meds and come back on Sunday morning.
I did just that. When I got there on Sunday Dr. MS walked in the room. I thought that was odd since Dr. M specifically told me he would be the one there. I went through the whole spiel with him about not having many mature eggs last time and really wanting to try to get more mature eggs this cycle just like I did with Dr. M on Friday. After the ultrasound he said that he thought I would probably stim one more day if not 2 more but he would have to check my lab to make sure. Later that day he called and said to continue the same meds that night and come back to the clinic in the morning...Monday morning.
I was very happy with that. That meant I was going one day longer than I ever had and I felt very hopeful that would help with my egg maturity.
I went back to the clinic on Monday morning. This time it is Dr. B. I love him and I saw him the entire cycle when I got pregnant with B. He takes plenty of time to talk to each patient so I knew he would hear me out. I went through my whole spiel about egg maturity with him. This was my third time. I was being proactive because I felt like I needed to make sure they understood how important this cycle was. After my ultrasound he told me to come back into his office.
When I sit down the first thing he says to me is this.
"Dr. M is no longer practicing here so you will be seeing Dr. MS and myself the rest of the time."
Seriously? Dr. M quit on Friday afternoon. Quit. Resigned. Retired. Whatever. He quit on a Friday afternoon (soon after I had my talk with him!) heading into his call weekend.
I worked in the medical field for years. My husband is a physician. That is one of the worst things you can do. If one of my husbands partners did that, I mean, I can't even really imagine it. I am sure there is much more to the story that I don't know (I've heard maybe he had some medical issues) so I will just leave it at that. Dr. M left the practice and left Dr. B and Dr. MS to take care of all the patients.
Another sign? Maybe... But I was only looking for hopeful signs.
Back to the story. Dr. B listened to me about this cycle. He knows me well. I have seen him the most out of any of the 3 doctors in the practice. I trust him. I know he is very thorough. I was not concerned that my main doctor had quit. I knew Dr. B would take care of me.
He called me Monday afternoon and said he wanted me to stim for one more day. (This meant going back to the clinic the next day for monitoring.) He thought I may have one egg that would be "post mature" but I had quite a few others that he thought could mature after one more day. I was very happy with this. I felt like we were doing something different and hopefully would get a different outcome.
I headed back to the clinic on Tuesday. Keep in mind I had been on the hormones 2 days longer than I ever had. I was uncomfortable. I was bitchy. It is 2 hours round trip to this clinic and I had been there Friday, Sunday, Monday, and now Tuesday. I was ready for a retrieval. More than ready.
Tuesday afternoon the nurse calls to tell me that I am ready to trigger. I will get detailed here. The trigger shot is Ovid.ril. You take this at a very specific time and you have the egg retrieval exactly 36 hours after. This medication stimulates ovulation and helps to mature the eggs. I was told to take the shot at 10pm and be at the clinic on the 4th of July at 830.
A 4th of July retrieval! That sounded good to me. Surely a holiday is a good day to make some babies...
Part one
Part two
Part four
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
I am going to tell you a story. Part 2
This is part 2 of my story about our fifth IVF.
I left off yesterday with me having started the ovarian stimulation medications. Once again, I am going to be very detailed about this process because I know I have some readers who are not familiar with IVF.
After being on the stimulation hormones for 3 days I went in for lab work. During this process your estrogen levels are monitored through lab work and your eggs/follicles are monitored via ultrasound multiple times. They do this to see if they need to increase or decrease your medication and to see when your eggs are ready to be retrieved.
This first monitoring appointment was just lab work so I was able to take Blakely with me. She was an absolute angel doll sitting with me while I had blood drawn. She was so sweet to the nurses and secretaries and really kept them laughing the whole time. That girl loves to entertain. I may be in trouble with her "I love being the center of attention" act.
That day was Lonnie and I's 8 year anniversary of our first date. I would be lying if I didn't hope that was a sign of good things to come. There were other "signs" as well. I started my first injection of lup.ron on the day Blakely turned 20 months old. Once we got this process started I realized that if I did get pregnant I would be due in March. And close to my birthday. I have always ALWAYS wanted to have a baby in March. I just thought it was a great time of year to have a birthday. When Lonnie and I first decided to try for a baby we started trying i June with the hopes of having a baby in March (naive and stupid). It just seemed like things may be lining up perfectly for us this cycle. I tried to ignore these signs but, like I said, LYING if I didn't have hope about it.
After my lab work was done I came home and waited for the phone call to tell me what to do next. The nurse finally called at 5:00. Just another stressor in this process. I have to sit around and wait by my phone all day in order to know what meds to take that night and when to come back to the clinic. I don't get great cell service at my house so I literally put my phone in one spot where I know it will reliably ring. And then I wait. Anyway, the nurse finally calls.
She tells me that my estrogen is 75. Then she says that I might have a cyst because they want my estrogen to be below 25. She wants me to come back for repeat lab before we start the stimulations meds and if it is still up then we will have to postpone the cycle. To someone who hasn't done this before that might sound reasonable and they would have just done what she said. But I am a veteran and I knew that wasn't right. I HAD ALREADY STARTED THE STIMULATION MEDS.
When you have the lab work to make sure your ovaries are suppressed your estrogen needs to be lower than 25. Once you begin the stimulation meds (which I had done 3 days prior!) they want your estrogen to go up. That is what helps to produce the eggs! I told her that I was confused and that I HAD ALREADY STARTED THE MEDS. She sounded confused and put me on hold. She came back and said that I was right and told me what the doctor wanted me to do. Keep my Follistim the same (375), double the Menopur (up to 150) and come back in three days (on Friday the 28th).
When I got off the phone I was in a bit of shock. I am glad I was on top of it and said something. But that just added to my stress unnecessarily. Talking about signs, maybe I should have read that as a sign of things to come.
I will continue tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
Part one
Part three
Part four
After my lab work was done I came home and waited for the phone call to tell me what to do next. The nurse finally called at 5:00. Just another stressor in this process. I have to sit around and wait by my phone all day in order to know what meds to take that night and when to come back to the clinic. I don't get great cell service at my house so I literally put my phone in one spot where I know it will reliably ring. And then I wait. Anyway, the nurse finally calls.
She tells me that my estrogen is 75. Then she says that I might have a cyst because they want my estrogen to be below 25. She wants me to come back for repeat lab before we start the stimulations meds and if it is still up then we will have to postpone the cycle. To someone who hasn't done this before that might sound reasonable and they would have just done what she said. But I am a veteran and I knew that wasn't right. I HAD ALREADY STARTED THE STIMULATION MEDS.
When you have the lab work to make sure your ovaries are suppressed your estrogen needs to be lower than 25. Once you begin the stimulation meds (which I had done 3 days prior!) they want your estrogen to go up. That is what helps to produce the eggs! I told her that I was confused and that I HAD ALREADY STARTED THE MEDS. She sounded confused and put me on hold. She came back and said that I was right and told me what the doctor wanted me to do. Keep my Follistim the same (375), double the Menopur (up to 150) and come back in three days (on Friday the 28th).
When I got off the phone I was in a bit of shock. I am glad I was on top of it and said something. But that just added to my stress unnecessarily. Talking about signs, maybe I should have read that as a sign of things to come.
I will continue tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
Part one
Part three
Part four
Monday, July 8, 2013
I am going to tell you a story. Part 1.
I have a lot to get out right now. And I have to start from the beginning. Mainly because that is the only way for you to understand but also because I need to heal. The only way I can do that is to write it out. I am hoping this helps. This story does not end well so don't get your hopes up or anything.
We did IVF. Number 5 for those of you keeping count.
I began taking birth control pills at the end of May and started the Lupron injections in mid June. For those unfamiliar I'm going to be very detailed here. Those two medications are used to suppress the ovaries. Once they are good and suppressed then you can start the ovarian stimulation medication (used to help your ovaries produce a bunch of eggs).
I went in on June 19 and was told that everything looked good and that I could start the stimulation medications the following Saturday, June 22. This cycle I was going to take Follistim and Menopur...the same medications I have taken before.
I did everything right this cycle. We took a break and made sure we were in a good spot to start this process over again. I had gotten back into my gym routine and I had been keeping myself healthy. I had lost 12 pounds by eating clean and exercising 3 days a week. That made me 5 pounds less than what I was when I got pregnant with Blakely and back down close to my wedding weight. I was feeling really great about myself. I had stopped drinking alcohol even casually and stopped drinking caffeine (hard). I also purchased Circl.e + Bl.oom meditations to listen to during the whole cycle. I hoped it would keep me calm and positive during the stresses of IVF. I had heard great things from people about it and felt like it was worth the money. I wanted to do everything that I could since I had so little control over everything else in this process.
I was ready.
I felt like my body was ready.
If you remember this post then you know that we figured this to be our last cycle. I couldn't think about that going in to it just because that is a lot of pressure. I wanted to stay calm and try to be positive about the whole thing. One of the reasons we decided to go ahead with this IVF is because we felt content with out lives. We are so lucky to have our miracle Blakely and we knew that if she was the only child we were blessed with then that was enough. Of course, we want more children but you don't always get what you want. We could be happy with our family of three.
A lot of you asked me when our last cycle failed why would the next one be our last. There are a few reasons for this. The main one being that it takes a huge physical and emotional toll on me and our family. It is hard to inject so many hormones into your body. It makes me feel out of control of my body. It is a roller coaster of emotions and I am not easy to be around during the process. Is it going to work? Is it not going to work? Happy when things are going well. Completely down when things aren't going exactly right. Then there is the physical toll. The actual process is painful. Swollen ovaries, multiple injections each night and then the egg retrieval. Having a needle punched through your vagina multiple times is not comfortable. Also, what are the side effects of doing this to my body 5 times? No one really knows but it is always in the back of my mind.
The other big reason for this one to be our last is the financial toll. IVF is not cheap. I know some of my readers know this first hand. We were luckier than lucky to have great insurance coverage for our first 3 IVF's. But going into our FET (frozen embryo transfer) last December we had reached our lifetime max of infertility coverage. So every single dime since then has come out of our pocket. I can't tell you the exact amount (because I don't want to go back and add it up) but each IVF costs about $13,000-$15,000. Yeah. Not cheap. There comes a time when you have to think about using that money in a different way. We have saved up enough to do these fertility treatments without it putting too much of a strain on our finances but, like I said, there comes a time when you really need to take a good hard look and decide what is best for the family in the long run.
So. On June 22 I started taking Follistim (375 units) and Menopur (75 units). I know, having gone through this before, that I probably would not have an excellent response. The more you do this the slower your ovaries respond, in general. I didn't care about getting 25 eggs or a huge number of embryos. I just wanted a chance to get pregnant. Just a chance.
I'll stop here for today. I decided to divide this story into 5 parts so I don't write the longest post in history and so I don't bombard you with information! I will post one each day this week. All five posts are already written and were written on Sunday July 7.
Part two
Part three
Part four
We did IVF. Number 5 for those of you keeping count.
I began taking birth control pills at the end of May and started the Lupron injections in mid June. For those unfamiliar I'm going to be very detailed here. Those two medications are used to suppress the ovaries. Once they are good and suppressed then you can start the ovarian stimulation medication (used to help your ovaries produce a bunch of eggs).
I went in on June 19 and was told that everything looked good and that I could start the stimulation medications the following Saturday, June 22. This cycle I was going to take Follistim and Menopur...the same medications I have taken before.
I did everything right this cycle. We took a break and made sure we were in a good spot to start this process over again. I had gotten back into my gym routine and I had been keeping myself healthy. I had lost 12 pounds by eating clean and exercising 3 days a week. That made me 5 pounds less than what I was when I got pregnant with Blakely and back down close to my wedding weight. I was feeling really great about myself. I had stopped drinking alcohol even casually and stopped drinking caffeine (hard). I also purchased Circl.e + Bl.oom meditations to listen to during the whole cycle. I hoped it would keep me calm and positive during the stresses of IVF. I had heard great things from people about it and felt like it was worth the money. I wanted to do everything that I could since I had so little control over everything else in this process.
I was ready.
I felt like my body was ready.
If you remember this post then you know that we figured this to be our last cycle. I couldn't think about that going in to it just because that is a lot of pressure. I wanted to stay calm and try to be positive about the whole thing. One of the reasons we decided to go ahead with this IVF is because we felt content with out lives. We are so lucky to have our miracle Blakely and we knew that if she was the only child we were blessed with then that was enough. Of course, we want more children but you don't always get what you want. We could be happy with our family of three.
A lot of you asked me when our last cycle failed why would the next one be our last. There are a few reasons for this. The main one being that it takes a huge physical and emotional toll on me and our family. It is hard to inject so many hormones into your body. It makes me feel out of control of my body. It is a roller coaster of emotions and I am not easy to be around during the process. Is it going to work? Is it not going to work? Happy when things are going well. Completely down when things aren't going exactly right. Then there is the physical toll. The actual process is painful. Swollen ovaries, multiple injections each night and then the egg retrieval. Having a needle punched through your vagina multiple times is not comfortable. Also, what are the side effects of doing this to my body 5 times? No one really knows but it is always in the back of my mind.
The other big reason for this one to be our last is the financial toll. IVF is not cheap. I know some of my readers know this first hand. We were luckier than lucky to have great insurance coverage for our first 3 IVF's. But going into our FET (frozen embryo transfer) last December we had reached our lifetime max of infertility coverage. So every single dime since then has come out of our pocket. I can't tell you the exact amount (because I don't want to go back and add it up) but each IVF costs about $13,000-$15,000. Yeah. Not cheap. There comes a time when you have to think about using that money in a different way. We have saved up enough to do these fertility treatments without it putting too much of a strain on our finances but, like I said, there comes a time when you really need to take a good hard look and decide what is best for the family in the long run.
So. On June 22 I started taking Follistim (375 units) and Menopur (75 units). I know, having gone through this before, that I probably would not have an excellent response. The more you do this the slower your ovaries respond, in general. I didn't care about getting 25 eggs or a huge number of embryos. I just wanted a chance to get pregnant. Just a chance.
I'll stop here for today. I decided to divide this story into 5 parts so I don't write the longest post in history and so I don't bombard you with information! I will post one each day this week. All five posts are already written and were written on Sunday July 7.
Part two
Part three
Part four
Thursday, July 4, 2013
the weekend....
We had a great weekend. As expected! Quick (yeah right!) recap with lots of pictures of course.
Saturday morning Blakely woke up super early so we decided to watch some Mick.ey in the bed with Coll.ier and Sy.ble. Terrible picture but it was such a sweet time. This was the first time B had seen them because she was asleep when they got here Friday night. She was so excited.
Saturday morning Blakely woke up super early so we decided to watch some Mick.ey in the bed with Coll.ier and Sy.ble. Terrible picture but it was such a sweet time. This was the first time B had seen them because she was asleep when they got here Friday night. She was so excited.
We ate breakfast and immediately went out on the boat. We took a long ride and then stopped to swim for a while. B was getting very sleepy so we eventually headed back to the house for her to sleep. Well, she fell asleep on the boat for a bout 10 minutes so once we got back to the house she refused to nap. Yikes. I was a little worried about her attitude for later in the day but she did great. I think she was just distracted with so much going on.
We hung out on the dock and in the water while my mother in law and her cousin, Andrea, watched B in the house. My sister in law's friend and her family (husband, aunt, uncle and son) stopped by and hung out on the dock with us for a while.
After a few hours in the water we headed up to the house to start cooking for the fish fry. We had another couple and their 2 kids over for dinner and to let the kids play. They are friends of ours but they also know my brother and sister in law. We usually have them over when Marshall and Kristen are in town.
My {amazing} mother in law made real french fries. And she brought all of the groceries...
This sexy guy fried 4 pounds of crappie. If you are unfamiliar with this fish a) I feel sorry for you and b) you don't pronounce it the way it looks ;)
one of about 6 trays....
The weather could not have been better. It was high 80's and not too humid. Let me just repeat that HIGH 80's! At the beginning of July! It is usually 100 by now and so humid you can't breathe. Thank you thank you thank you! We were able to sit outside without the mister or even our large umbrella up. Perfection.
All of the kids had a ball. They built a huge fort in my living room. At one point it was a 2 story fort! Blakely was just trying to keep up with them and doing a pretty good job of it. Jeremy was the builder of the forts. We called him the fort engineer...
Blakely absolutely loved playing in the fort. She did not want to come out. It was adorable watching her take toys in there and play by herself. Such a sweet girl.
They also made a ton of paper airplanes. Still finding these in random places...
After we stuffed ourselves with as much food as possible we headed down to the dock to shoot some fireworks. I just took B down there for the first few because I knew she wouldn't like the loud noises and it was already 930.
B and I came back up to the house and since she was so sleepy and snuggly I decided to let her watch a Mick.ey in our bed. This girl didn't go to bed until after 10! And with only a 10 minute nap. She was such a trooper and she had an absolute blast playing all day. The good thing about having bigger kids over is that it shows you that your "big girl" isn't really all that big yet. Thank goodness.
When I got back upstairs from putting her down, everyone had broken into the strawberry pie my MIL made. It was, of course, wonderful. I could have eaten the whole pie but, alas, I had to share.
The next morning B did not sleep in. Not cool my dear. So we were up bright and early for another fun day. Coll.ier and Sy.ble have been asking for a long time to see pictures of when my MIL was a child. They also wanted to see pics of their daddy and uncle Lonnie as kids. So my MIL brought her projector and slides (can you even believe that?) and put on a slide show for all of us. It was so fun and the kids had a great time guessing who everyone in the pictures were. Total hit NanaBob!
Colli.er and Sy.ble wanted to take another ride on Big Mable before they left so Lonnie and I took them out...just the 4 of us.
Coll.ier wants to ride really fast and turn in lots of circles. Syb.le "just wants to ride, not all crazy, just a smooth ride"....her words. We let him ride by himself first so he could go crazy. He leans in and loves going outside of the wake. I told him next year he will be begging Uncle Lonnie to try to throw him off the thing.
Syb.le said Coll.ier could ride with her but only if we did what she wanted. So we went slow and gave her a smooth ride. :)
I love this one. Look how bored he looks!
There it is! Our fun summer weekend. We are hoping they come back in a month and we can do it all again! Happy 4th of July!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)