TVT

So thankful for TVT because apparently I can't blog without it :/

• I really need some motivation to decorate my Christmas tree.  My tree is usually up before Thanksgiving but not this year.  We did actually bring it upstairs and turn on the lights but that is it.  Oh and I figured out how to make the lights twinkle!  Blakely LOVES it...I put her in her bouncer in front of the tree yesterday morning and she sat there for an hour!!!!  I got so much accomplished!
• My girl doesn't sleep very good during the day.  Which I am totally not complaining about because she does pretty well at night so I will take it.  But it does make for a pretty cranky baby in the late afternoon/evening and a pretty busy momma all day long.  I can't really find a good place for her to nap because I don't want to put her in her crib for naps (long story but basically just don't want her to get confused about the night time sleep since she does pretty good with that).  She HATED the pack n play so I tried the swing, bouncer, boppy pillow, couch, floor, playmat, you get the point.  She only stays asleep for about 15-20 minutes...30 if I'm very lucky.  She does sleep well when you hold her but I can't really do that all day every day.  I tried the Moby wrap yesterday and it went ok...I might try it again today.  I decided to try the pack n play again this morning since it had been about a week since I put her in it.  She has been asleep for 25 minutes...which is why I have time to blog!  Any suggestions in this area would be oh so helpful!
• I sent out her birth announcements the other day and I have gotten lots of compliments on them.  If I knew how the heck to imbed it onto my blog I would but I have no clue....again blog stupid!
• I am back on the caffeine..DAMN IT!  I didn't drink caffeine during my IVF3 or my pregnancy (well maybe like three times).  Recently I would randomly drink a diet coke or stop at Sonic and get a small diet dr. pepper. I didn't have any yesterday and by the evening I had a supreme headache.  So bad that I drove to Walgreen's at like eight o'clock to get some....now that is addiction people.  I will be stopping this habit very soon.  Oh and I don't have much just one in the late morning to keep my eyelids open....
• My sweet girl is seven weeks old today...that is just crazy!  But this also means that my maternity leave is more than halfway over.  I really don't know what I am going to do about work...should I be a stay at home mom?  Whole other post.......
• Should I have her picture taken with Santa?  I really want to...mostly for the baby book and since it is her first Christmas but HELLO GERMS!  Not so much the random guy that holds her but all the other sicky kids that have been on there before her.  Ok I just totally talked myself out of it.  Maybe I'll get Lonnie to dress up????
• I'm considering doing cloth diapers.  I did quite a bit of research on it while I was pregnant and I really want to try once she is about 3 months old.  My only hold up is that I feel like I have no support in doing it.   My husband says ok but I don't think he thinks I will really do it.  My mom and mother in law think I am crazy!
• TMI....but I want to have sex with my husband.  Is this crazy or what?  I actually can't believe it!  My lady parts are just not quite ready for that adventure though....
• I cooked dinner last night...like seriously.  I can't even remember the last time I did that.  It was for sure before B was born and I don't think I did it in the last like month or two of pregnancy.  Bad wife..I know.  I am really going to start making an effort to do better...we must eat healthier!
• I am going to try to get back in to running in the very near future.  I downloaded the couch to 5K app last night and I am going to try to start in the next week or two.  I think my lady parts are almost ready for that :) Now my lungs are a totally different story....
• My girl is still asleep!!!  It has been 30 minutes!!!!  I have to stop blogging and do some dishes...UGH....

Happy Thursday y'all!!!!  

Postpartum

I am a little late on this post but I just wanted to document. I went for my 4 week postpartum visit a week ago.  Anyway, I mentioned the other day that I was kinda nervous about it.  


He looked at my incision/tear and said that it was healing perfectly.  It does take longer for them to heal in breastfeeding moms...something about having more progesterone than estrogen.  He gave me some estrogen cream to put on it every other night and that should help it to finish healing sooner.  I have to say, during week four I started to feel like it might actually heal.  But during week five I have had sort of a set back.  I don't know what the deal is but it just started getting more sensitive.  I had my husband look at it (awesome, I know, but he is a doctor so whatever...).  It is doing fine just still healing.  He did say there was some sort of small piece of prominent tissue and that is right where I was hurting.  Hopefully it will get better soon.  Sorry for the TMI...


Oh and good news.  I've talked to two people that had worse tears than I had and they went on to have more kids....this means they had sex.  That gives me hope ;)


Also, I didn't cry!  I was pretty proud of myself for that.  I don't know what it is but I was just getting so emotional when I thought about going back there for the last time (hopefully not last time, but last time for this pregnancy).  I also thought I would cry when I saw Dr. C but I didn't....I may have teared up when he hugged me but just a little ;)  I took him a gift from Lonnie and I and I wanted to take his nurse a gift and cookies for the office but I couldn't carry it all!  I am due for my yearly at the end of December so I decided I will do it then.  His nurse is pregnant and due in February so I am going to get her a gift for her little one.  


So now for the post partum body.  I gained a total of 32 pounds during my pregnancy and I have lost all but 6 pounds.  This is the heaviest I have ever been (not pregnant, of course).  I gained about 10 pounds during our 3 IVF cycles.  So I would ideally like to lose 16 more pounds.  I am actually pretty happy about how I look...with clothes on HA!  But it is all squishy feeling.  I really need to start doing some sit ups and hopefully it will get less soft.  It is weird when you don't use your abs for such a long time and then you try to use them.  I want to get back in to running ASAP but my body is just so not ready for that.  I have been taking walks with her in the stroller and I really enjoy it...but can I just say so out of shape!  As soon as I heal a little more I might try some jogging.  If I really got into I might eventually get a jogging stroller.  We will see..


So here is a pic of me two days after I had Blakely.

This is 12 days after

This was 25 days after

This is five weeks after

And for the sake of complete honesty...
Here is a close up of my tummy the morning of my induction

And here I am now with my shirt up in all my stretch marked glory.  I can't believe I am posting this but for some reason I feel the need...so here it is...I might regret it later :)
You see why I said I feel pretty good...with clothes on!  They do seem to be getting lighter but I'm not sure.  They are totally worth it though...

We went to our wine dinner last night and had a great time!  I did miss her but it was so nice to get dressed up and get out.  It is amazing how good it can make you feel when you have lived in pajamas and no make up for over a month.  I wore heels and drank wine for the first time in a LONG time.  It was also nice to tell people about our daughter!  We definitely showed everyone pictures of her..that was fun!  A little surreal....

And let me just say...Spanx and a great dress will do wonders for the squishiness!!!  Also, this is the first time in my entire life I had cleavage!  I wish we would have taken a closer picture of that!  


And just because she is so dang cute...

Happy Friday!!!

Halloween and a few other things...

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that commented on my previous post.  It really makes me feel great to have so much love and support from the blogging community.  None of my friends in real life are new mommies and there are very few that are mommies at all.  Thank you for making me feel normal!!!  I have tried all of the advice and we are doing better.  Also, a very special thank you to Mrs. Hammer for the great website.  I have been doing the laid back breastfeeding and Blakely seems to be doing much better with that.  Mommy is doing better also.  For the past two days I have started to feel more like myself.  I am not in as much pain and I guess I am adjusting to the sleep deprivation :)


Also, I am so happy that I started this blog!  I debated for months and months over this decision.  I didn't think my husband would want me to put all of our stuff out there on the internets :)  When I asked him about it he told me to go for it!  He tells me all the time to be totally honest on the blog and not to "sugarcoat" anything.  Best...decision...ever!  My blog is not anonymous (obviously) but not many people in my real life know about it.  My husband, my mom, my mother in law, and Jenni (my aunt).  That is it.  And I think the only people that read it on a regular basis are my husband and my mom.  I think I might be ready to tell my friends and family about it.  I'm still not sure.  I really like my blogging and I feel very comfortable with it the way it is.  I am afraid that if more people knew about it then it would change it somehow...like maybe I would be scared to hurt feelings?  Or scared to be as honest?  I'm not sure.... 


Also, my blog is totally changing.  I mean it started off as a blog to help me cope with infertility.  Then soon after I started it I got pregnant.  It then became a pregnancy blog.  Well now it is basically a new mommy blog.  I mean I'm sure that I will have some posts that aren't about being a mom but, ya know, that is what is going on in my life right now.  I understand that this blog may be hard to read for some people that began following when it was an infertility blog.  I know that it was hard for me to read pregnancy or mommy blogs.  I really understand.  I don't want to start a new blog...I just want this one to change with me as I grow.  I hope to keep all my readers out there.  I still follow all of your journeys and hope and pray for BFP's for everyone.  I love y'all!!!


I hope everyone had a great Halloween!  We, of course, did not do anything this year except snuggle with our girl.  Mommy did dress her up though and she liked it about half of the time.  I had four different outfits for her to wear...and it was really hard to stop at four :)  I look forward to next year dressing her up and going trick or treating!


Here she is in outfit #1.  I didn't buy this one it was given to us as a gift.  That is just a disclaimer for my husband!  If you are new to my blog or have missed it in previous posts...my husband is a radiologist so this outfit is very fitting :)  

This is outfit #2.  It lasted about 20 minutes and then she spit up all over it.....

This is outfit #3.  It was mommy's first attempt at a tutu.  It turned out pretty good I thought!

 she looks so long!

 See my phone?  It is playing Janis Joplin...if you turn it off...see next picture!

 Yeah....screaming Blakely :(  Doesn't it just break your heart....

And then this is her actual Halloween costume.  She really liked this one!

 RAWR!!!!!

I just love her sweet face...seriously....