18 weeks

Well obviously I am not going to be able to keep up with the weekly updates! 

Today I am 18 weeks pregnant with the twinks!  I feel like I have a lot to update on because a lot has been going on the last 6 weeks.

How Far Along: 18 weeks  I can not believe I am 18 weeks.  The first 10 weeks went by soooo slowly but since then things are flying.  

12 weeks 4 days  (this dress accentuated the belly!)

14 weeks

15 weeks 2 days

17 weeks

I seriously love doing the comparisons.  I always loved seeing everyone else's bump comparisons too!

Maternity Clothes:   Yes to the pants and some shirts.  Most of my larger sweaters will fit for a while.  Thank goodness for the sweater and leggings trend!  My mom got me four long sleeve maternity shirts and they are perfect.  I think they will last until the OMG huge stage.  I really need to get some more pants.  I literally have one pair that fits.  I got a couple of gift cards for Christmas so this weekend I am going to do some online shopping.  Any recs for maternity jeans that are LONG?  I am almost five ten!  

Sleep:  Sleep is good.  I sleep really hard and wake up about 2 times a night to pee but go right back to sleep.  I have started taking a bath every night and it really gets me ready for sleep.  Baths are awesome!  

Best Moment of the Week:  There have been a lot of great moments the past few weeks.  I had my friend at the hospital scan me the other day and she looked really good at the babies.  Until now we have just done quick checks but nothing thorough.  She checked all of their organs and everything looked good.  We were able to tell that baby boy is on the bottom and baby girl is on the top...so he will be the first one to come out.  

baby girl skelton face :)

baby boy profile.  

My tummy is popping out now and I definitely look pregnant.  Blakely likes to rub my belly...basically waited my whole life for that.  She talks about the babies a lot and how she will hold them when they cry and pat their backs so they will go to sleep.  She also talks about the babies coming when the weather gets warmer in May.  If you ask her what their names are she says one of two things.  Mickey and Minnie or Mickey and Clarabelle.  Oy.  I have mentioned a few of our top names to her and she gives a disgusted look.  Ha!  One night after I put her to bed she called me back down there a few minutes later crying saying that she forgot to give the babies a goodnight kiss.  holy sweet.  

Movement:  Yes!  I felt the very first flutters at 14 weeks but then nothing for a few days.  Around 16 and a half weeks I started feeling more actual kicks.  I can sometimes tell which baby it is but only because I know that baby girl is up high and baby boy is low.  I love feeling them and it gets stronger every single day.   

Symptoms:    Well...I feel quite pregnant.  At this same time with Blakely I don't think I felt pregnant at all.  By the end of each day I am completely worn out and I go to bed right after Blakely does...about 830.  During the day I have to rest multiple times and I am moving a little slower than normal.  All of this is fine I just wasn't expecting it this early.  As long as I take it easy when I feel like I need to I am fine.  

And now for something that is WAY too much info for you all!  Ha!  At about 15 weeks I started having quite the pain in my lady parts.  Pain/heaviness/fullness?  Difficult to explain.  Mainly when I've been standing for a little while. It doesn't feel like "pressure" but I can't stand for very long without being very uncomfortable "down there".  :)   I remember feeling that with Blakely but much much later...like 32 weeks.  But with her it felt like her head was hanging out...this just feels all external.  It really freaked me out.  I was really worried that I wasn't holding these babies in there.  At my 16 week appointment I mentioned it to him.  He checked me and said my cervix was super hard and completely closed...perfect.  He said my "lower uterine segment" wasn't hanging down or anything which would worry him if it was.  Everything was fine.  When my friend scanned me my cervix looked great.  So I guess I am just going to have this discomfort which is totally fine as long as everything is okay.  I just want to keep these babies in there as long as possible. All this to say I can't stand for very long before needing to sit or lay down.  He told me to just listen to my body and when I felt that way I need to rest.  I can't compare pregnancies because every one is different.  Plus there are 2 in there!  But seriously...I can't imagine working my job like I did with when pregnant with Blakely..on my feet all day?  No way.  

Food Cravings/Aversions:  yes please to all things sour.  No aversions really.  I have finally been able to start cooking again.  My family is happy about that!  I don't cook as often as I used to but at least I can cook without puking.  Soups are my go to because I can cook them in the morning when I have energy and well, it is soup weather!  


What I Miss:  nothing really at the moment although a bloody mary on New Year's sounded awesome.  ;)

What I'm Looking Forward to:  my official ultrasound in 2 weeks and reaching viability at 24 weeks!  I can't wait for Blakely to feel the babies move and for us to give them some names.  The name situation is basically going no where.  Coming up with 4 names is hard!  I am also looking forward to getting started on the nursery.  We have oh so much to do. 

Milestones:  At 15 weeks I graduated from the Denver clinic.  I was able to stop all meds and my nurse told me I was just a normal pregnant girl.  I bawled like a baby on the phone and told her how much I appreciated her.  Seriously sometimes I can't even believe that we are here right now.  One year ago is when I made our first consult with Dr. S and now I am almost halfway through a twin pregnancy.  It is really a miracle and I am so so grateful.  I am not sure how we got so lucky but I thank my lucky stars every single day.  

How we did it.

We finally decided to let everyone know about this pregnancy.  Well, actually, a lot of people already knew.  Mainly because people knew about our trip to Denver and all that we had gone through this time around.  But there were still a chunk of people that did not know that we wanted to tell.  Ya know, like our own child!  

We told her when I was about 8 1/2 weeks after my second official ultrasound.  I kept thinking up fun ways to tell her but nothing just really seemed to stick with me.  Finally I just wanted to tell her and I didn't care how we did it.  

I bought two little sleepers (gender neutral because we didn't know yet...hard to find!) and wrapped them up.  Lonnie and I sat down with her and told her we had a really big surprise for her.  She opened them up and immediately thought they were for her baby dolls.  We said yes they could wear them but who else could wear them?  She said real babies.  Then we asked her if she wanted to have real babies come live with us.  She thought that sounded real fun.  I said, "you know how Mommy hasn't been able to pick you up and my tummy hurt a little while ago"?  She said yes and asked if my tummy was better now.  I said that it was but the reason for all of that was because there are two little babies growing in my tummy.  I swear the look on her face was exactly like in the picture below.  She was literally so surprised.  This surprised Lonnie because he didn't really expect to get such a reaction out of her.  It was so adorable and I, of course, cried!  She said she wanted to hold them and I told her they have to grow really big and strong and then when they are ready to come out she can hold them.  She said she wanted to see them so I showed her and ultrasound picture which meant nothing to her...ha!  We talked to her about my tummy getting big and then she could feel the babies.  She was really interested and really excited.  She said she would help me change their diapers and give them bottles.  It was seriously one of the best moments ever.  I soaked it all in.  We were all sitting on the couch snuggling and talking about the new babies.  A moment I didn't think would ever happen and I was living it.  I am so lucky.  

I figured she would tell everyone immediately and she did at first.  She told my mom (who knew but acted like she didn't) and the same with my mother in law.  I thought she would tell her teachers at school but it took her about a week to do that.  I picked her up one day last week and the director pulled me to the side.  She said during lunch Blakely had told her something.  At first I was like OMG did Blakely get in trouble?  Because she never does at school.  Then she said Blakely told her there were 2 babies in my tummy and she was going to be a big sister.  I said it was true and she figured it was just one and I said oh it is 2!  They were all super excited.  It was pretty fun :)

I knew I was going to officially announce last weekend.  Lonnie and I knew the genders since my 8 1/2 week checkup.  I asked my nurse in Denver when I could find out and she said right now!  It was so crazy to know.  Lonnie and I decided to keep that a secret for a little bit.  We never got the have the secret of me being pregnant like most couples do so it was nice for just the two of us to know this and no one else for a while.  

Lonnie didn't know that I was going to ask the nurse so he had no clue that I knew.  I left a few notes for him around the house that led to Blakely's room and the reveal.  I made up a little poem that ended with something like "we are going to need to buy a few new toys because you are going to be the Daddy of another girl and a boy".  I wasn't home when he read them so he called me and it was really exciting and special.  Love that man of mine.  

I started trying to think of ways to announce and then I found this shirt on E.tsy.  I thought it would be a great way to announce the pregnancy to those who didn't know but also to announce the genders to everyone.  

It took my mom and mother in law a good 10 minutes to figure it out when they came over and B had the shirt on.  It was pretty funny.

So there ya go.  I am pregnant with a boy and a girl.  Life couldn't be more perfect right now.  I have to pinch myself often.  I don't know how I got to be so lucky!  Sometimes the negative creeps up in my mind or the superstitious side of me starts to take over.  I really have to force myself not to be this way.  I am trying to enjoy the moments and not think about all of the bad things that can happen.  That is really hard for me but I am doing better.  

A couple of notes...
Blakely doesn't care a thing about it being a brother and a sister.  She just wants "babies".
The clinic knows the gender of the babies because of the chromosome testing we had done when they were day 5 embryos.  More on that here.

A Year to Remember

2011 has been, by far, the best year of my life.  I started the year off with so much hope for the future.  2010 was a horrible year...for many reasons.  I was so ready to see it go.  I tried really hard to shut out all of the bad things that happened in 2010 and just start the new year off with hope and happiness.  I feel like I did a pretty good job of that.  

I am more thankful than I even know how to express for this wonderful year and all the joy it has brought into my life.  I am so grateful to have experienced the miracle of pregnancy.  I had such a wonderful pregnancy and I enjoyed every second.  I actually miss being pregnant.  Then, to get to go through the absolute miracle of the birth of my healthy daughter...well, that was just amazing and it makes me tear up every time I think about it.  This year has brought my husband and I even closer together.  I always knew that he would be a great father and he has proved me right a million times over.  I love him more than I thought possible and I know that we can make it through anything.  I look forward to 2012 with much anticipation as we will get to experience a ton of "firsts" with Blakely.  I can only hope that it brings us as much happiness as this year has.

And with that, I thought I would do a little reflecting on 2011.  Enjoy :)

January

• I started this blog on 1-20-11...I am so so so happy that I did.  I have made great friends, learned so much, and been supported when I needed it the most.  Thank you all so much!
• I started IVF #3 at the beginning of January.  I remember thinking surely the third time is the charm.  I forced myself to be positive and hopeful.  
• My lovely little embryos were made on 1-25-11.  (I posted about this here and here)
• Two of my lovely little embryos were transferred on 1-28-11.  (I posted about this here and here)
• My super sweet husband turned 38 in January also :)
• We went to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl and I got unbelievably sick with a stomach bug....never been so sick in my life.  At one point Lonnie even mentioned taking me to the emergency room (which, if you knew him, is HUGE) and I told him no, that I would rather die in our hotel room than go to the ER in New Orleans the night before the Sugar Bowl.  This was before starting IVF meds.  Unfortunately I didn't get to go to the game :(

February

• I found out I was pregnant on 2-8-11.  Definitely one of the best days of my life!  My BFP post is here. 
• I found out we were pregnant with one sweet baby on 2-17-11.
• My husband scanned me and we saw Blakely's heartbeat for the first time on 2-24-11.  That day was so very special to us both and I will never forget anything about it.    
• February was an awesome month!!!

March

• I turned 29 on March 17th.  It was a great birthday because I was pregnant but I felt awful!
• We started telling people about our pregnancy on 3-27-11...that was super fun!
• I started my Kelly Belly posts!
• Spring officially started...my favorite season!

April

• We went to Chicago and I am still craving The Melting Pot.
• We had lots of crazy weather here and a bunch of tornadoes.  I spent quite a bit of time in the closet downstairs.  

May

• We found out we were having a girl!!
• I went on my family florida trip in May and had such and excellent time.  I was hoping to be pregnant on this trip for three years and it finally happened.  
• I celebrated my very first Mother's Day, although I think it will be even sweeter in 2012.
• Lonnie felt Blakely move for the first time!  

June

• Lonnie and I had our six year anniversary of our first date on 6-25-11
• We had such a wonderful summer!  We didn't do much but we did get to enjoy going on the lake before it got too hot...and boy did it get hot!!
• Collier and Syble came to stay with us for a weekend and we took them on the lake...which they LOVE!

 July

• We named our princess in July.
• We registered for our baby showers in July...that was so overwhelming but still super fun and something I had been looking forward to for a long time.  

August

• I had my first baby shower!  It was more than I could have asked more.
• We did our childbirth classes in August.
• I had my 4D ultrasound done In August by my friend....this was when we saw that B had a dimple in her chin just like her daddy :)
• I found out my very good friend, Katie, is expecting her first child in March!  Little Eli will be 5 months younger than Blakely.  
• Not too soon after that I found out my good friend Courtney was expecting!  Sweet Jayda will be 6 months younger than B!  

September

• I had three more baby showers!
• We had maternity pictures taken.  I couldn't decide if I wanted to have them done but I am so very happy that I did!
• We finally finished up Blakely's nursery.  My mom and I had so much fun planning her room!
• Fantasy football season started in September!  We had so much fun this year.  I don't think I've talked about this much but me and my girlfriends all play in a league together.   My husband hates it!
• I had the pleasure of scanning my friend Katie and telling her that she was having a boy!  What a wonderful treat that was :)

October

• Lonnie and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on 10-6-11.
• We welcomed our sweet little Blakely on 10-13-11.  The birth story post and part two are probably my favorite posts ever....I have gone back and read them many times.  This was the best day of my life.  I became a mommy, made my husband a daddy, and got to kiss this sweet girl for the first time :)

• We had Blakely's newborn pictures taken.  Which reminds me...I think I only posted a few and forgot to post more after I ordered them.  Well here are a few of my favorites :)

This is the one when she pooped across the room...it was awesome!

• We celebrated Blakely's first Halloween.

November

• I was an emotional wreck for the first few weeks of November...might have had something to do with just having a baby??
• We celebrated Blakely's first Thanksgiving.
• Blakely turned one month old and I got to see her smile at me for the first time.  
• I wasn't able to scan my friend Courtney to determine the sex of her baby since I was on maternity leave.  But I had a friend of mine that works somewhere else do it and we were able to tell her she was having another little girl...that is always so much fun!  
• My dad celebrated 8 years of no drinking on November 19th.  I am so so so proud of him!  

December

• We celebrated Blakely's first Christmas.
• Blakely turned two months old!
• This month has been wonderful.  Blakely is so smiley all the time and just a happy baby overall.  
• I have started to get comfortable with this mommy thing this month.
• I also decided to quit my job and be a stay at home mom.  I'm pretty sure this will be the best decision I've ever made...besides marrying my husband :)  ...and starting my blog ;)
• Blakely laughed at me for the first time and I got it on video!  She has giggled a couple of times for Lonnie, my mom, and her grand cousin, but this was major laughing..and at me!  If I can figure out how to edit the video and post it then I will because it is SUPER cute.  

I hope I haven't forgotten something major...it is very likely...I seem to be quite orgetful these days! 

I have really enjoyed going back and reading some of my posts...especially some of my very first ones.  I included a ton of links and I totally don't expect y'all to go back and read all of those posts.  I just thought if there were some new readers that wanted to know more about me then they could check some of them out.  Except you mom...you are supposed to go back and read them all ;)

Happy New Year everyone!  I hope 2012 treats us all well!

Postpartum

I am a little late on this post but I just wanted to document. I went for my 4 week postpartum visit a week ago.  Anyway, I mentioned the other day that I was kinda nervous about it.  


He looked at my incision/tear and said that it was healing perfectly.  It does take longer for them to heal in breastfeeding moms...something about having more progesterone than estrogen.  He gave me some estrogen cream to put on it every other night and that should help it to finish healing sooner.  I have to say, during week four I started to feel like it might actually heal.  But during week five I have had sort of a set back.  I don't know what the deal is but it just started getting more sensitive.  I had my husband look at it (awesome, I know, but he is a doctor so whatever...).  It is doing fine just still healing.  He did say there was some sort of small piece of prominent tissue and that is right where I was hurting.  Hopefully it will get better soon.  Sorry for the TMI...


Oh and good news.  I've talked to two people that had worse tears than I had and they went on to have more kids....this means they had sex.  That gives me hope ;)


Also, I didn't cry!  I was pretty proud of myself for that.  I don't know what it is but I was just getting so emotional when I thought about going back there for the last time (hopefully not last time, but last time for this pregnancy).  I also thought I would cry when I saw Dr. C but I didn't....I may have teared up when he hugged me but just a little ;)  I took him a gift from Lonnie and I and I wanted to take his nurse a gift and cookies for the office but I couldn't carry it all!  I am due for my yearly at the end of December so I decided I will do it then.  His nurse is pregnant and due in February so I am going to get her a gift for her little one.  


So now for the post partum body.  I gained a total of 32 pounds during my pregnancy and I have lost all but 6 pounds.  This is the heaviest I have ever been (not pregnant, of course).  I gained about 10 pounds during our 3 IVF cycles.  So I would ideally like to lose 16 more pounds.  I am actually pretty happy about how I look...with clothes on HA!  But it is all squishy feeling.  I really need to start doing some sit ups and hopefully it will get less soft.  It is weird when you don't use your abs for such a long time and then you try to use them.  I want to get back in to running ASAP but my body is just so not ready for that.  I have been taking walks with her in the stroller and I really enjoy it...but can I just say so out of shape!  As soon as I heal a little more I might try some jogging.  If I really got into I might eventually get a jogging stroller.  We will see..


So here is a pic of me two days after I had Blakely.

This is 12 days after

This was 25 days after

This is five weeks after

And for the sake of complete honesty...
Here is a close up of my tummy the morning of my induction

And here I am now with my shirt up in all my stretch marked glory.  I can't believe I am posting this but for some reason I feel the need...so here it is...I might regret it later :)
You see why I said I feel pretty good...with clothes on!  They do seem to be getting lighter but I'm not sure.  They are totally worth it though...

We went to our wine dinner last night and had a great time!  I did miss her but it was so nice to get dressed up and get out.  It is amazing how good it can make you feel when you have lived in pajamas and no make up for over a month.  I wore heels and drank wine for the first time in a LONG time.  It was also nice to tell people about our daughter!  We definitely showed everyone pictures of her..that was fun!  A little surreal....

And let me just say...Spanx and a great dress will do wonders for the squishiness!!!  Also, this is the first time in my entire life I had cleavage!  I wish we would have taken a closer picture of that!  


And just because she is so dang cute...

Happy Friday!!!

Blakely's Birth Story

So here is Blakely's birth story!
Oh and by the way....I love her so much :)


I was unable to sleep the night before my induction, of course.  I slept from about 1am to about 230 am.  I was anxious but also uncomfortable.  I was having contractions.  I didn't really time them well since I knew I was about to be headed to the hospital anyway.  They were approximately 8 minutes apart, give or take.  I very well may have been in early labor but we will never know!  At about 4 am my husband and I started getting ready to go to the hospital.  I was starting to get a little nervous at this point just because I was ready to go.  

Before we left the house

Last belly pic

We arrived at the hospital at 530 am.  I got changed into my gown and peed.  The night nurse got me all hooked up, took my blood, and started my IV.  I have to make a note here that I have super awesome veins...like bulging all the time.  Be jealous.  Well this nurse went through my vein.  Yeah, that hurts.  So on the second try she got it.  I was very uncomfortable laying in the bed.  I was laying on my back, semi-reclined.  I kept trying to prop myself up on my side but then the monitor would  mess up.  I told my husband at this point that I totally understand why people want to give birth at home now...and I wasn't even having painful contractions.  After a few minutes I needed to go to the bathroom.  A little too much info here but I had been having issues going to the bathroom for like 3 days.  I think it was my body trying to clean itself out :) 


So at 610 they started the pitocin.  I was already having contractions 3 minutes apart before they even started it.  So I really think I was going to have her that day even if I wasn't induced.

Before things got intense :)

At this point my lab had come back and my platelets were low.  Platelets are what helps your blood to clot. So, yeah, you don't want them to be low when you are about to have a baby!  I believe they were 99,000.  I think normal level is above 155,000.  They were concerned about this because of my high blood pressure.  They were afraid I was developing HELPP syndrome.  You can read a little about that here but basically it is Hemolytic anemia, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low platelet count.  So they decided to check my liver enzymes and recheck the platelets.  Liver enzymes were normal but platelets had dropped to 88,000...in about an hour!  This was all foreign to me but my husband seemed concerned.  If he's concerned about something medical then I KNOW I should be.  I didn't know this at the time but if your platelets are too low then you can't have an epidural because of the risk of bleeding.  Ummmm.....I think I might have had a panic attack if I had known that.  The only cure for this is delivery so it was all meant to be for her to be born that day.


Around this time it was shift change and the nurse that would labor me came in.  Her name was Susie and she was so wonderful.  I mean, seriously.  She made me feel like I was doing a good job the whole time and she really tried to make me as comfortable as possible.  I was much better after she came on.  


At 711 I was 2 cm dilated and they broke my water.  This was a weird feeling but it didn't hurt.  What did hurt is when they pressed on my belly to get more of the fluid out.  The contractions started coming pretty strong almost immediately.  They were not unbearable but I did have to concentrate on breathing though them.


Since we knew that I was going to get an epidural they decided to go ahead and get the catheter in.  That way when I was dilated more and ready for it they would just have to put the medicine in.  


The epidural was in at 755.  They give you what is called a loading dose to make sure it is in the right spot and will work.  Well when they gave me this I really only went "numb" from the knees down.  Usually you get results pretty quick with the loading does of lidocaine.  It took a long time for the dose to travel up to my abdomen.  I have to make a note here about my anesthesiologist.  She was absolutely amazing and I really don't think I could have done it without her.  She was so patient with me and stayed with us for a long time to make sure I was comfortable.  While we were waiting for the medicine to start working (travel up to make my belly "numb") my contractions started getting stronger and stronger.  My epidural was effective at 840.  I was quite thankful because I was getting worried that it just wasn't going to work.  I didn't realize this but epidurals are different for everyone.  I  just thought you get one and you go numb and that was that.  Not the case.  Again, my anesthesiologist was awesome.  She could have just gotten frustrated with me and said that was all that she could do.  But she didn't.  She worked with me until we were both satisfied.  I love her and I think I told her that!  They checked me again at 915 and I was 4 cm dilated.  


At 1030 I was 5 cm dilated and I was feeling some pain on my right lower abdomen.  It was fine but it kept getting worse and was not going away when a contraction would go away.  They put a foley in and my bladder had been very full...this made the pain subside.  


Also, even with the epidural I could feel the top of my uterus so I could feel when I was having a contraction.  It wasn't painful but I could feel it.  Sometime in here I started having pain under my left rib cage.  It wasn't terrible but it was making me uncomfortable so I wanted to lay on my left side.  With help from Lonnie and Susie we got me somewhat rolled over and I was much better.  


About 10 minutes after I rolled over I started having pretty bad pain with the contractions in my left lower abdomen around into my back.  Lonnie helped me roll back onto my back because I thought this would help.  This was about 1130.  I was very uncomfortable and no position seemed to help.  They told me that they could give me more lidocaine in my epidural but that I could only have a certain amount and if I used it then I might not have it for when I was fully dilated and ready to push.  Apparently the lidocaine worked better on me than the other medicine they put in the epidural..I can't remember the name of it...I really feel like it didn't work on me at all but maybe it did a little..I will never know.  But there is only so much lidocaine you can have.  I decided to not get it just yet.  So from like 1040 to 1150 I was in a lot of pain.  I was trying to be really strong and just deal with the pain.  I really wanted to wait to get the lidocaine towards the end.   

 After things got intense :)

At 1135 they checked me and I was 9 cm dilated.  I told Susie when she came in to check me that if I was still only 5 cm I was going to cry.  She told me I was still only 5 and I was shocked!  She said just kidding!  YOU ARE A 9!!  WOO HOO!  I was pretty pumped about this and surprised.  I went from a 5 to a 9 in an hour...OUCH...


I decided to get the lidocaine in my epidural at this point since we would be pushing soon.  


At 1150 the lidocaine was in and I was pretty numb.  It was hard to explain.  I had been able to move my legs before but I couldn't feel anything when they touched me "down there".  After this bolus of lidocaine I couldn't move my legs at all.  I was very numb.  I could still feel the pain on my left side but it was much better now.  


At 1230 Dr. C came in and checked me and I was at a 10 and ready to push.  I was so numb that I didn't think I was going to be able to push.  I was really worried that I wasn't going to be able to push.  I remember telling Lonnie this multiple times.  We tried to do a little pushing at this point but it wasn't effective.  He decided to wait 30 minutes for it to wear off and he cut my epidural in half.  I was very stressed during this 30 minutes because I was scared I wasn't going to be able to push and I would have to have a C-section.  


At 100 we tried to push again and I did it a little better but still not very effective.  They decided since Blakely was doing so well to wait 30 more minutes and try again.  At this point the pain in my left side was really starting to hurt.  Like a 9 out of 10 on the pain scale.  


At 130 we started pushing for real.  It is the weirdest sensation.  I could tell when a contraction was coming on but it took me a while to figure out how to push.  My husband and Susie were the only ones in the room and they both made me feel so good.  They kept telling me what a good job I was doing and to keep it up and she would be here in no time.  I had no idea if I was making progress or not.  For some reason, during that time, I didn't believe them.  I remember thinking if I was doing so well then Dr. C would be in there ready for delivery.  I started to get really nauseous at some point and dry heaving in a bucket.  I really think the thing that kept me going besides meeting my girl was the excitement in my husbands voice.  The way he sounded when he was coaching me really made me feel loved.  


At some point Dr. C came in and they told me that I was really close.  I still didn't really believe them for some reason.  Then after a little bit they called the nursery nurse in to the room.  All signs pointed to the fact that I was about to have this baby!  


I had my eyes closed this entire time.  Like for the last three hours probably.  I would open them occasionally but for the most part I was trying to concentrate because I was in so much pain.  My left side was hurting so bad with the contractions.  At some point, a little before Dr. C came in, I figured out my own little way to push really hard.  I was having such severe pain on my left side but when I was pushing as hard as I could the pain would be much better.  So that is when things started moving right along.


Right before B was born and in between contractions the nurse asked my husband how to spell Blakely's name for the card that goes in her crib.  He said B-L-A-K-E-L-E-Y!!  I was like NOOO!!!  He was like oh no!  I mean B-L-A-K-E-L-E-Y.  I yelled no again and reached up, with my eyes closed, and swatted at him.  He knew exactly how to spell it because he is the one that decided to spell it that way.  He was just so nervous and excited that it was coming out wrong.  It was really cute and everyone got a major kick out of that.  It was a blur to me :)


Back to the story.  All of this was pretty blurry but I remember the excitement in my husbands voice on one of the pushes telling me that she was almost here and then the nursery nurse laid a blanket on my belly.  This is when I started believing them that she was actually about to be born.  I couldn't believe it.  I was determined to get her out for my husband...he just sounded so excited!  I pushed really hard and then they told me to stop pushing and just breathe.  I knew this meant her head was out but I still had my eyes closed.  Then one more big push and at 244 she was here!!!  I still had my eyes closed and they had to tell me to open them.  And there she was!  They laid her on my belly and I literally could not believe that I was looking at my daughter.  She looked up at me with these ginormous eyes and a look like what in the world just happened!  We both held her and cried while they were wiping her off.  They left her on my belly for about 3 minutes or so and then they took her to the warmer which was right beside my bed.  They cleaned her up while I was delivering the placenta (what a relief that was) and then they weighed her.  I always thought she would be about 8 1/2 pounds but no one believed me.  She weighed in at 8 pounds 7 ounces and 20 inches long.  They wrapped her up and gave her to me.  


Me and my husband just stared at her for the longest time...and cried.  Dr. C was sewing me up this whole time.  This seemed to take forever and I was worried about what happened but I was too scared to ask.  I was still feeling really nauseated so I just didn't want to think about it. I was focused on my little princess!  


My husband did video the birth and I am so so so so grateful that he did.  It was from my perspective though so no strait on money shots :)  I was in a lot of pain and just focused on getting through that.  I had to close my eyes to do that.  I was also so very nauseated that I didn't want to look...I just wanted to get her out.  Now I can watch it and be totally amazed.  I have watched it about 5 times and cried every single time...I highly recommend recording your birth.  


Also, there is no way I would have remembered all the details of this such as the times and how dilated I was, etc.  I had my husband write down all of the significant things that happened with the times.  I am so glad I did because my sense of time was so jumbled up!  I really recommend doing this as well.  


All in all I had a great experience.  Of course it was very painful at some points and I can't imagine doing it without any pain relief!  My husband was the BEST coach, I had the BEST nurse for me, the anesthesiologist was absolutely fantastic, and of course Dr. C was great too!    I really want to do something for all of these people but I can't really think of anything.  If y'all have any ideas please share!  


Ok I think I am going to stop here because this is really long.  I have so much more to say but I'll do it in other posts.  I want to tell y'all about all the things that happened right after she was born...placenta delivery, stitching me up, Lonnie telling our families, pain relief, and getting up for the first time.  So much to say!  But for now I will leave you with some picture of my sweet girl.


Oh and if you made it through this whole thing you are awesome!