A Year to Remember

2011 has been, by far, the best year of my life.  I started the year off with so much hope for the future.  2010 was a horrible year...for many reasons.  I was so ready to see it go.  I tried really hard to shut out all of the bad things that happened in 2010 and just start the new year off with hope and happiness.  I feel like I did a pretty good job of that.  

I am more thankful than I even know how to express for this wonderful year and all the joy it has brought into my life.  I am so grateful to have experienced the miracle of pregnancy.  I had such a wonderful pregnancy and I enjoyed every second.  I actually miss being pregnant.  Then, to get to go through the absolute miracle of the birth of my healthy daughter...well, that was just amazing and it makes me tear up every time I think about it.  This year has brought my husband and I even closer together.  I always knew that he would be a great father and he has proved me right a million times over.  I love him more than I thought possible and I know that we can make it through anything.  I look forward to 2012 with much anticipation as we will get to experience a ton of "firsts" with Blakely.  I can only hope that it brings us as much happiness as this year has.

And with that, I thought I would do a little reflecting on 2011.  Enjoy :)

January

• I started this blog on 1-20-11...I am so so so happy that I did.  I have made great friends, learned so much, and been supported when I needed it the most.  Thank you all so much!
• I started IVF #3 at the beginning of January.  I remember thinking surely the third time is the charm.  I forced myself to be positive and hopeful.  
• My lovely little embryos were made on 1-25-11.  (I posted about this here and here)
• Two of my lovely little embryos were transferred on 1-28-11.  (I posted about this here and here)
• My super sweet husband turned 38 in January also :)
• We went to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl and I got unbelievably sick with a stomach bug....never been so sick in my life.  At one point Lonnie even mentioned taking me to the emergency room (which, if you knew him, is HUGE) and I told him no, that I would rather die in our hotel room than go to the ER in New Orleans the night before the Sugar Bowl.  This was before starting IVF meds.  Unfortunately I didn't get to go to the game :(

February

• I found out I was pregnant on 2-8-11.  Definitely one of the best days of my life!  My BFP post is here. 
• I found out we were pregnant with one sweet baby on 2-17-11.
• My husband scanned me and we saw Blakely's heartbeat for the first time on 2-24-11.  That day was so very special to us both and I will never forget anything about it.    
• February was an awesome month!!!

March

• I turned 29 on March 17th.  It was a great birthday because I was pregnant but I felt awful!
• We started telling people about our pregnancy on 3-27-11...that was super fun!
• I started my Kelly Belly posts!
• Spring officially started...my favorite season!

April

• We went to Chicago and I am still craving The Melting Pot.
• We had lots of crazy weather here and a bunch of tornadoes.  I spent quite a bit of time in the closet downstairs.  

May

• We found out we were having a girl!!
• I went on my family florida trip in May and had such and excellent time.  I was hoping to be pregnant on this trip for three years and it finally happened.  
• I celebrated my very first Mother's Day, although I think it will be even sweeter in 2012.
• Lonnie felt Blakely move for the first time!  

June

• Lonnie and I had our six year anniversary of our first date on 6-25-11
• We had such a wonderful summer!  We didn't do much but we did get to enjoy going on the lake before it got too hot...and boy did it get hot!!
• Collier and Syble came to stay with us for a weekend and we took them on the lake...which they LOVE!

 July

• We named our princess in July.
• We registered for our baby showers in July...that was so overwhelming but still super fun and something I had been looking forward to for a long time.  

August

• I had my first baby shower!  It was more than I could have asked more.
• We did our childbirth classes in August.
• I had my 4D ultrasound done In August by my friend....this was when we saw that B had a dimple in her chin just like her daddy :)
• I found out my very good friend, Katie, is expecting her first child in March!  Little Eli will be 5 months younger than Blakely.  
• Not too soon after that I found out my good friend Courtney was expecting!  Sweet Jayda will be 6 months younger than B!  

September

• I had three more baby showers!
• We had maternity pictures taken.  I couldn't decide if I wanted to have them done but I am so very happy that I did!
• We finally finished up Blakely's nursery.  My mom and I had so much fun planning her room!
• Fantasy football season started in September!  We had so much fun this year.  I don't think I've talked about this much but me and my girlfriends all play in a league together.   My husband hates it!
• I had the pleasure of scanning my friend Katie and telling her that she was having a boy!  What a wonderful treat that was :)

October

• Lonnie and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on 10-6-11.
• We welcomed our sweet little Blakely on 10-13-11.  The birth story post and part two are probably my favorite posts ever....I have gone back and read them many times.  This was the best day of my life.  I became a mommy, made my husband a daddy, and got to kiss this sweet girl for the first time :)

• We had Blakely's newborn pictures taken.  Which reminds me...I think I only posted a few and forgot to post more after I ordered them.  Well here are a few of my favorites :)

This is the one when she pooped across the room...it was awesome!

• We celebrated Blakely's first Halloween.

November

• I was an emotional wreck for the first few weeks of November...might have had something to do with just having a baby??
• We celebrated Blakely's first Thanksgiving.
• Blakely turned one month old and I got to see her smile at me for the first time.  
• I wasn't able to scan my friend Courtney to determine the sex of her baby since I was on maternity leave.  But I had a friend of mine that works somewhere else do it and we were able to tell her she was having another little girl...that is always so much fun!  
• My dad celebrated 8 years of no drinking on November 19th.  I am so so so proud of him!  

December

• We celebrated Blakely's first Christmas.
• Blakely turned two months old!
• This month has been wonderful.  Blakely is so smiley all the time and just a happy baby overall.  
• I have started to get comfortable with this mommy thing this month.
• I also decided to quit my job and be a stay at home mom.  I'm pretty sure this will be the best decision I've ever made...besides marrying my husband :)  ...and starting my blog ;)
• Blakely laughed at me for the first time and I got it on video!  She has giggled a couple of times for Lonnie, my mom, and her grand cousin, but this was major laughing..and at me!  If I can figure out how to edit the video and post it then I will because it is SUPER cute.  

I hope I haven't forgotten something major...it is very likely...I seem to be quite orgetful these days! 

I have really enjoyed going back and reading some of my posts...especially some of my very first ones.  I included a ton of links and I totally don't expect y'all to go back and read all of those posts.  I just thought if there were some new readers that wanted to know more about me then they could check some of them out.  Except you mom...you are supposed to go back and read them all ;)

Happy New Year everyone!  I hope 2012 treats us all well!

Blakely's First Christmas

This Christmas was just absolutely wonderful.  I could not be more thankful to have spent it with my sweet little family.  I couldn't help but think back to last Christmas when I had a broken heart.  I longed to spend last Christmas with my child...what a difference one year can make!  

Me and Blakely on Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve we always go to my Grand's house and have dinner.  My mother in law stayed with us from Thursday to Christmas Eve so she got lots of Blakely loving :)  I made her take some pictures of us as a family before we left to go to dinner.  

My sister in law, Kristen, got B this dress.  Her daughter, B's cousin, Syble has the same one.  She looked so adorable in her little Christmas dress...I couldn't hardly stand it!

My mother in law

This is my mom's cousin Jan.  We call her Blakely's grand cousin :)  She giggled for the first time on Christmas Eve at her grand cousin!

Daddy!!!   Why do you always take off my bow?!?!?!

After we had dinner at Grands, Lonnie, Blakely, and I came home.  This was Blakely opening up her very first Christmas present on Christmas Eve.  She was thrilled ;)

My First Christmas pajamas!!!

Daddy changing her into her new jammies

I love these two so much it hurts....

picture with mommy

It was so hard to get this one and she was tired of trying!

I love my new jammies mommy!

This is her new thing.  Instead of sucking on her fist she tries to latch on to her arm...pretty cute...

She was just so dang adorable on Christmas Eve.  We had a big day that day and she did so well.  She was for sure sleepy.  When I took her down to her room to change, feed, and rock her she instantly fell asleep.  I just couldn't put her down though.  She was so beautiful and looked so content.  I cried so much that night while I was rocking her.  I hope we will have many more Christmas' with her and I know they will only get better but we will NEVER forget her first Christmas.  I spent the last three Christmas' with no baby and a broken heart.  I definitely remember exactly how that feels and I'm not taking a single sweet second with my baby for granted.  I don't want to miss a moment.  

On Christmas morning I woke up early and brought her in to bed with us.  We snuggled with her for like 2 hours...it was fantastic!  Then we got up and went over to my moms to open presents with her and my brother.  

This was B's "stocking".  So much fun stuff!!

Lots of kisses from Uncle Matty!

When we finished gifts with them the rest of my family came over and we had brunch.  Blakely did so well and even took a nap!!  

She was taking it all in...

She got lots of fun stuff like this with lights...she loves lights.

 How cute will these shoes be with some ruffled Razorback socks???

 This is her first baby doll!  And that blanket was made for me by my great grandmother (my mom's mom's mom..confused?)  My mom found it and now it is Blakely's!  We called her Mooney and she passed away in 1992.  Blakely actually got a few things from her!  My Grand gave her the copy of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas that Mooney gave Grand at her first Christmas...it is now 76 years old.  My cousin Trent gave Blakely some of his books that Mooney gave to him.  It was all so special...

This is Blakely's first basketball from her grand aunt Jenni.   There is a little backstory to this.  Her longtime boyfriend, Robyn, passed away in October of 2010.  I actually found out IVF #2 failed the day of his funeral.  He was like a father to me...he taught me how to play basketball, how to throw a baseball, and how to be tough!  When he passed away he thought that I could be pregnant.  He was very sick and he told Jenni to always get my baby girl a ball for Christmas.  So this is her first one!  You can unzip it and it unfolds into a blanket.  

She also got lots of fun toys to help her like tummy time a little better :)

We came home that afternoon and we gave Blakely her presents from us.  

 look at that sweet face....

 OH WOW!

 My first pair of jeans!

She was totally worn out after all of this action!  

Blakely's first Christmas was absolutely wonderful.  I could not have asked for anything more and I will treasure these memories forever!!

My big news!

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas.  I know we did!  It was a busy couple of days and I am worn out.  Apparently Blakely is too because she has slept all day!  I hope she will still sleep well tonight....

Anyway, I said that I had a big announcement, so here it is!

I quit my job!

When I realized that I only had 5 more weeks at home with my girl I kind of freaked out.  I just didn't want to leave her when she was so little.  Lonnie and I talked about it and decided it would be best if I stayed at home.  

I never thought I would be a stay at home mom but now I can't imagine it any other way!  I had good intentions of going back to work although I knew it would be hard to leave her.  I just had no idea how hard.  

No one, and I mean no one, thought I would go back.  I almost felt like I was trying to prove something to someone.  But I didn't really know what I was trying to prove or to whom I was trying to prove it!  Isn't that stupid??  

When I was deciding to do this I just kept going back to the fact that I can always go back to work....anytime I want.  She will only be little once.  I am lucky enough to be able to spend this time with her, so why wouldn't I?  

It was really hard to tell my boss that I wasn't going to come back.  I consider her a friend as well as all of my other co workers.  I already miss them but, like my husband said, I can see them outside of work any time I want.  They are going to be very short handed for a while and I know how awful that is because I have been there when it was understaffed.  They were all very understanding and said that they would do the same thing if they were in my shoes.  That made me feel better.  

I am really excited to have this new job :)  Because, let's be honest, it is totally a job.  I had a hard time keeping up with everything before Blakely was born, so I am really going to have to work hard to do it all AND raise my little babe.  I feel like now I can focus all of my energy on being a good wife and mom now that I don't have to put part of my energy into my hospital job. 

I am also a little scared about this.  I hope that I am good at it?!  I guess I have this vision of what kind of mom and wife I want to be and now that I get to devote all of my attention to it I hope I can live up to my own standards.  When I was working, I always had that as an excuse to not be exactly how I wanted to be.  Well no more excuses! 

I am going to have to get on some sort of schedule because I find myself wanting to stay in my pajamas all day and just cuddle with her!  Maybe the New Year will give me some motivation.  

I know just how lucky I am to be able to stay at home with my little girl and I am not going to take a single second for granted.  My husband works very hard to provide us with this luxury and I appreciate it very much...I love you honey!  

So there it is girls!  I am a stay at home mom.  WOW!!  This is going to be a big change for me but definitely one that I will not regret!

Oh, and any stay at home moms out there with any advice to give...please feel free :)

 

Busy Busy Busy

This week has just been unbelievably busy..like for real.  Between all the appointments, Christmas shopping, and Christmas parties, I am WORN OUT.  


I really wanted to get my "big announcement" post up this week but it is looking like it will have to be next week.  I just can't get the thing written!!!


Here is just a run down of what we have had going on this week...

Monday

Blakely's 2 month appointment at 930 am

I went Christmas shopping until my dentist appointment at 300 (I did run home to feed her twice)

Took her to Garvan Gardens to look a the lights Monday evening

more pics from this night later...

Tuesday

My dermatologist appointment at 845 am

I did more shopping until my eye appointment at 130 (again running home to feed her)

We had Christmas with my dad, Julie (his gf), my brother, my Uncle and his two girls on Tuesday night...there is one word to describe this event...dysfunctional

Christmas dress #1  :)

Wednesday

We tried to sleep in but I couldn't because I needed to clean the house.  Me and five other girls were having a progressive dinner party Wednesday night and I had done nothing to prepare.  The theme was Thai so I went to the store to get the stuff for my appetizer since I was the first house.  

I then went to get my yearly pap done.  I picked them up some cookies on my way there since I wasn't able to do that at my postpartum appointment.  I also got a little gift to give the nurse who is due in February.  

After that I came home and Lonnie and I both frantically got things ready for the dinner party.  I have to be honest here and say that he did all of the cooking and made the cocktail.  I just cleaned and took care of B.  

They all got here at 6 and we stayed at my house for about 45 minutes.  We had a limo to take us to all the other houses...It was awesome but I didn't get home until midnight.  My boobs hurt and the baby was very unhappy since she hadn't had the boob all night.  

yes, we wore tacky sweaters!

our pimpin' limo :)  We said we should call ourselves the Real Housewives of Hot Springs!

Today I have been trying to relax.  When I got up this morning I did all of the dishes...there was a TON of them from our frantic cooking and cocktail making.  I feel like I have a million things to do and more shopping to get done but I don't want to do any of it.  I just want to hang out with my sweet girl and my husband while he is off work.  I have been stressing about Christmas presents because I haven't really had time to get stuff for people.  Right now I am just saying screw it...surely they will understand???  I do have a newborn baby...

Right now my husband is at a meeting and my mother in law is at the grocery store doing my shopping for me.  I should be wrapping presents but instead I am blogging...quick style.  I think I might close my eyes....I am so tired.  We have another Christmas party tonight but I think I am going to skip it.  I am exhausted and I just want to go to bed.  I am sure everyone else is having a super busy week as well.  :)

Two months old!

My sweet little Blakely Ann was two months old on December 13!  We love you so much sweet girl.  Your daddy and I are so lucky to have your as our little girl.  We find ourselves just staring at you every evening with wonder.  We kiss you all the time!  We joke that one day you won't want our kisses so we have to get plenty in now :)  You are such a great baby!  You only get upset when you are hungry and if you get overly tired.  We have taken you quite a few places this month and you always do so well...even though mommy stresses so much about how it will go!

Firsts this month:  

• You smiled in response to me for the first time on November 28th.  You had been smiling some before but this was the first day that I was sure you were smiling at me..you did it multiple times.  Since then you have been a smiley little bug all the time.  Once you figured out how to do it, you do it a lot.  In the past week you have figured out that it makes mommy and daddy squeal with excitement when you smile so then you smile even more!  You are very close to giggling...I feel like you will do that very soon. 

• You went on your first shopping trip to Little Rock (an hour away) with me and your "aunt" Sarah on November 29th.  Mommy worried like crazy about this but you were great!  This was the first time I nursed you away from home...we did it in a Dillard's dressing room....perfect place by the way!  You slept most of the time.

• You slept in your room by yourself for the first time.  This was harder on me than it was on you....
• You took your first real bath this month.  We had still been giving you sponge baths on the counter even after your belly button fell off..it was just easier.  Now we are just letting you take a bath with one of us and you love it!  Sometimes you even fall asleep while we are holding you...you get so relaxed.  I think you will be a little water baby like your mommy :)
• You slept through the night for the first time on December 5th.  I read somewhere that sleeping 7 hours is technically sleeping through the night.  You were 7 1/2 weeks old. 
• You went to your first Christmas party!  It was with my girls at work and you totally showed off.  You were smiling at everyone and talked a lot!  They all loved you :)

Doctor Appointment:  Thank goodness Daddy went with us!  She got her shots and, of course, she screamed her little head off.  But we actually were able to calm her down pretty quick after.  I really just want to snuggle with her all day but I have errands to run...boo.  She weighs 11 pounds 8 ounces and is 22 1/2 inches long.  She is right above the 50th percentile in all categories.  


Nicknames:  Blakey, Blakey Bear, Blakely Bear, Blakey Bug, B Bug, Sweet Pea, Pea Pod, Tinky Boo, Tink, Sunshine, Sunshine Pea.....there are lots more but these are the main ones :)

Eating:  We are still just breastfeeding.  You eat about every 3 hours during the day and then about every 2 hours in the evening.  You hate the bottle right now.  I am about to try some different bottles to see if that will help.  You have been spitting up much less frequently.  It had been about a week since you spit up and then you did a massive one yesterday morning...soaked us both!  You are a great burper...I always say you burp like a grown man!  I am still pumping pretty often.  I just play it by ear most days.  I always pump after your last evening feeding since you are sleeping so long it helps with the engorgement.  Then if you go 7 hours I will pump after that feeding because you usually only eat off of one side.  During the day I don't usually pump unless you only do one side.  It varies every day.  

We do lots of this during the day too :)

Sleeping:  You are a rockstar sleeper.  I don't want to jinx myself about this but for right now you do awesome at night.  For the past week and a half you have been sleeping a 7 hour stretch and a couple of times 8 hours.  There have been a few nights that you wake up at 3 but I just pat you on the tummy and turn your sound machine on for 20 minutes and you go back to sleep.  Naps during the day are still not great but they are better and I don't mind you being awake all day because you sleep all night!  

Daily Routine:  This is a routine for most days but not all because sometimes mommy likes to sleep in :)  And these times aren't always the same but within an hour...

9am-wake up for first feeding, diaper change, and new clothes for the day.  

930 to 1030am-come upstairs and I put you in the bouncer in the bathroom while I get ready.  You watch me and we listen to Christmas music.  

1030ish you fall asleep.

1030am to 1200pm-We run errands if we need to while you are sleeping or mommy cleans up the kitchen and washes all the pump parts from the night before.  If we don't get in the car then you usually don't sleep the whole time.

1200pm-diaper change and next feeding

1230 to 3pm-this time in between feedings is usually spent with you taking a 10 minute nap and then waking up and wanting to be held, napping for 15 minutes and then waking up and wanting to play.  

3pm-diaper change and feeding

330 to 5pm-you are usually awake the whole time in between the 3p and 5p feeding.  You spend a lot of time on your play mat during this time while mommy is trying to cook dinner.

5pm-diaper change and feeding.  This is usually the times when daddy gets home from work.

530 to 7pm-play with daddy.  He talks to you, sings to you, and tries to get you to laugh!

7pm-diaper change and feeding.  If we are giving you a bath during the week then this is when we do it.  

730 to 9pm-more playing with daddy!  

9pm-last feeding of the night.  I take you downstairs and feed you in your room and rock you for a little bit.  Then I swaddle you and put you down after about 30 minutes.  You are still awake but put yourself to sleep after about 20 minutes.  

You are asleep for the night anywhere from 930 to 1030, depending on the time of you last feeding.  

5 or 6 am-diaper change and feeding.  I put you back down because no way am I ready to be up for the day!

9am-start all over!!!  Sometimes I don't get us both up and ready at nine...we will try to take a nap together in your room.    


How mommy is doing:  I am doing well these days.  I feel like I am getting the hang of this mommy thing.  Now, don't get me wrong, there are some days that are totally effing crazy and I have no clue what I am doing...but in general I am doing good.  I really wish she wouldn't hate on the bottle so much.  It makes me feel really bad that I want to go places and do things.  I am hoping this is just a phase...a short phase.  


How daddy is doing:  Daddy is doing well and he spends all of his time at home with Blakely.  He is so happy to see her when he gets home.  There have been a few evenings that I was out with her or he had something to do after work and he didn't get to see her for a day.  He hates that and it really gets him down.  He makes up for it the next day by snuggling with her every second :) 

Sweetest moment this month:  I have two of these moments.  The first one was when I brought her into bed with me on a rainy Sunday morning and we both fell back asleep.  Don't worry I made it very safe for her :)
The second moment still makes me tear up thinking about it.  We had taken her downstairs to her room to put her pajamas on before I fed her and put her to bed.  She was laying on the queen bed and we were just kissing on her.  I kept trying to pick her up to feed her and Lonnie kept saying no not yet.  After doing this about 4 times, he looked at me and said "I just can't quit her"....melt.my.heart.....


A few other things:

• you wear a size 1 diaper.  Although, I think I ordered the wrong size from Diapers.com but they are fitting you well too.  I guess it is a size one and a half because it says 1-2 on it....
• you are in all size 0-3 month clothes.  They are fitting you really well and I think you will probably grow out of them very soon
• you refuse the pacifier.  I have tried to give it to you multiple times because you really like to suck but you spit it out, gag, or just chew on it....similar to what you do with the bottle!
• you favorite toy is, by far, your play mat.  You love to lay flat and move your legs and arms at the same time.  

• you have started noticing the TV....therefore we have turned it off!
• you have discovered how to put your hand into a fist and bring it to your mouth.  You do this and then try your hardest to suck on your entire fist.  I haven't gotten a good picture of this yet but it is pretty darn cute.  
• you still are not the biggest fan of tummy time...  

   unless you are on your tummy on daddy's lap...

A few more pics and some comparisons.  

I bought this outfit in all sizes....

Stay tuned for a big announcement this week!  And don't go thinking I'm pregnant or anything crazy like that....It is definitely NOT that...