9dp3dt and Super Bowl

Today I am 9dp3dt and I really don’t feel any different.  I mean my boobs are really sore but, like I said in my last post, they have been this way since transfer day.  I keep going back and forth convincing myself that it didn’t work and then that it did. 

The things that make me thing that it didn’t work are:

1. I don’t feel pregnant.   Not that I wold know how it feels...but ya know what I mean...
2. I feel exactly like I did last time....and it didn’t work then...
3. I am cramping.  I have been for a couple of days now, which makes me think AF is just trying to show up.  They are not terrible cramps and not all the time...just occasional...

The things that make me think that it did work are:

1. Google says cramping can be a good thing.....
2. My boobs are sore and they weren’t last time...maybe they are getting a little bit more sore??
3. Surely it worked right?  The need to stay positive is overwhelming right now....

So there you have it...a whole bunch of nothing.  I wish something would happen to make me know it worked.  Like I could throw up at the sight of these sausage balls I am about to make.  Then I would KNOW it worked right?  Or I could pass out like they do in the movies...always know they are pregnant then!  Or then maybe I would just think I was crazy and making everything up.  Infertility makes me crazy.....

I had a ginormous breakdown the other night because I was convinced that I wasn’t pregnant.  I stormed off to bed early and cried like a frickin’ child having a tantrum.  Looking back this probably had less to do with symptoms and more to do with the fact that I was snowed into the house, all day, by myself, WITH NO ELECTRICITY!!!!  Not good for a girl on her 2 week wait who is trying to be distracted!!!  I’m pretty sure my husband has decided that I have lost it.  Maybe I have...not really sure at this point....  

It is getting harder and harder not to test at home.  I want to know but then I don’t want to have to go through getting a negative result at home and then go through it again on Tuesday.  Also, it would totally ruin my day.  I am having a good day so I think I should just leave it at that :)

My family is having a party for the Super Bowl.  We are going to my grandmother’s house (who will from here on out be referred to as Grand...because that is what we call her and it is weird to say type grandmother).  Not a huge party because my family is not huge...just about 8-9 people.  It should be fun and will for sure take my mind off of my lady parts.  

And just for fun here are a few pics of my family...

Grand on the right and my Aunt Jerry on the left (this was at their birthday lunch in December...they have the same birthday but 12 years apart)

My mom on the right (have I told y'all how awesome she is?) and Vickie (she is married to my mom's brother) on the left

 My aunt Jenni (my mom's sister, if you can't tell) on the right (she is super awesome as well!) and family friend Casey on the left...she is really more like family than just friend....

And just because it is not really a Super Bowl Sunday without out him....here is a picture of me with my Uncle Robyn (married to Jenni in the above picture).  He passed away in October.  His funeral was the day I got my negative beta results from IVF #2...awesome...I know....

I think he would be for the Packers but I am not sure....I'll have to ask Jenni and then that is who I am rooting for!  


Hope y'all have a great Sunday!!!!

6dp3dt

and I am going crazy...

I just need to know.  I’m not sure I can wait until Tuesday.  UGH!  I just want to go to sleep until then....wish that were possible.  

I will absolutely not POAS (pee on a stick).  I have peed on so many of them the past three years and I just can’t do it.  I don’t think I can see one pink line and not lose it completely.  I will only POAS if I get a positive Beta.  And then you can bet your booty that I will pee on anything that will tell me I’m pregnant!!!  Seriously...anything....

I have found that reading, cooking, and sleeping are the only things that take my mind off of my uterus.  So I have been doing those all day, everyday.  I sleep as much as possible.  I have read about 5 books and I have cooked dinner every night.  Husband isn’t going to be home tonight so I’m not cooking.  I think the only way I am going to survive this is Thursday night TV.  I love all the shows that come on tonight on N.B.C.  Three hours of laughing???  I’ll take it!  I can’t wait....

I don’t go back to work until next week and I actually miss it.  Working all day would probably distract me.  I only work part time and I was supposed to work Monday and Tuesday of this week.  I took them off because at the time I may have still been on bed rest.  So....no work this week.  I am just thankful that I was able to take the days off that I needed and it wasn’t too difficult to get someone to work for me.  Last IVF it was super hard!!!

I'm trying really hard not to obsess about symptoms but we all know that is almost impossible.  The only thing that seems different is that I am sleeping a lot.  But I am not really getting out and about so that is probably why.  Also my boobies are pretty sore BUT they have been like this since transfer.  They were never like this last IVF, even with the PIO (progesterone in oil) shots.  I think maybe it was the Luveris that I took this cycle.  Who knows!  We will see if I get any new symptoms or if these change at all.....

So now I am going to snuggle in the bed with my doggies (secretly, because they aren't supposed to be on the bed) and take a nap.  sleep....read....cook....repeat...until Tuesday....maybe I should throw a shower in there somewhere??? :)