Slacker

I have been such a slacker with posting here lately.  My mom tells me this often :)  (She loves reading my blog and the little tidbits about Blakely!)  Anyway, I think I know why I haven't been coming here to write as much.  

Things have been really hard lately.  The last few months have just been rough for my family.  With Lonnie's multiple illnesses and his hospitalization, my mom's hospitalization and her heart issues that we are still dealing with, all of the IVF stuff and then my migraine I AM OVER IT.  

I don't like for this blog to be a downer all the time so when things are shitty I just don't really write much.  I mean I am honest about it all and I will post the negative things about my life I just don't want to bombard you all with "woe is me" constantly!  

Lately when I sit down to blog I find that I just want to vent.  That can get old fast so then I just close the computer.  

But I think we are turning a corner!  We are back on our regular schedule with Blakely going to MDO.  That helps a ton...not sure how I used to do it with her home with me all day everyday because this summer WORE ME OUT.  Lonnie is back to feeling 100% and that helps me out oh so much.  My mom has switched cardiologists and we really love and trust this new one so I feel that she is well taken care of and I don't have to question everything.  And best of all, we are on the path to our frozen embryo transfer!  As long as all continues to go well we are looking at a transfer in just a couple of weeks.  I am so ready.  Now, I just have to keep us all healthy!  We will all be hiding out in our house for the foreseeable future.   

So, since things are looking up around here I hope to get back into my blogging habits.  Since I know you have missed her so much here are a few pics of my girl on her first day back to MDO.  Sassy little thing... 

Planning

I don't think I have mentioned this but I am smack in the middle of planning our first trip to Dis.ney!  

We weren't planning on going until B was 4 but a couple of months ago Lonnie just looked over at me and said let's do it!  I am pretty sure it was when we were watching Sno.w Whi.te and the 7 Dwar.ves for the first time and Blakely was so completely excited.  

We are going in March and we already have the reservation for our resort.  But other than that I need help!  I know some of your have been or are planning your trips too.  Help a mom out!  I have a few books and a friend that is Disn.ey obsessed but that is about it.  

I plan on making this trip as low key as possible.  I know.  It's Disney and that is impossible. I didn't realize just how hard it is to make a trip there low key.  I mean you have to schedule your character meals 180 days in advance and you still may not get in!  That is cray.  My 180 day window is coming up in the next month or so and I have a few ideas but I need to get with it.  I know we are going to do a princess meal and then a meal with Mickey and friends.  I also think she would enjoy meeting the Disn.ey Jr. characters.  

So....all of you Dis vets out there help me out.  Tell me your favorite things, tell me what not to do, tell me where to eat and where not to eat, tell me what you would do again and what you would skip.  Tell me about the parades and which ones I can't miss.  And if you don't want to leave a comment feel free to email all your suggestions!  GO!

Blakely lately

It has been a while since I have done a Blakely lately post so I thought I would!  I know I will do a big one when she turns three (omg) so I wanted to get some of these things down now because she is changing so much.  

She is really in to pretending.  She loves to pretend that someone is sick and she gives them a check up with her D.oc McStu.ffins bag of tools.  If we tell her not to do something, for example...do not put any more lotion on, she will grab the bottle and say I am just pretending to do it.  Sure.  

She is very attached to me.  She always wants me to put her to bed.  This started when Lonnie was sick and was not here to do it.  Now she is used to that and it is a struggle to have him do it.  We read her Highli.ghts magazine that she is obsessed with and then we rock for a few minutes.  She has to turn on her light up clock and her lady bug nightlight.  Then she gets in bed and I pat her back.  Then she always wants to jump back up for "one more hug and kiss".  

Speaking of kissing, she has all different types of kisses.  Lip kisses, nose kisses, butterfly kisses, frog kisses and fancy kisses to name a few.  She will let you know which one she wants.  

She will also tell you if she wants a big kiss or a little kiss.  Also, a big hug or a little hug.  

All of her Y's and L's sound like W's.  So I love you comes out sounding like "I wove wu".  It is pretty cute and has been going on for a few months.  It is already starting to slowly change but I want to remember it because I love it.  "That is not wours, Mommy, that is mine!"  

A couple of other words that she uses...
-Hand sanitizer is "hanitizer"
-Super is "su-su"
-Bottom is botten.  Sounds like bot-TEN.  "I AM sitting on my bot-TEN!"
-We call my grandmother Grandmama (sounds like grandma-MA).  Blakely calls her Danna-  mama.

And here are a few gems that I have written down over the past month or so.  

After whining considerably while I was brushing her hair because she did not want to have her hair put up she finally sighed, huffed and said "Ugh.  Whining is so hard."

I had taken a screen shot of some boots on my phone.  A few days later she was playing with my phone and ran up to me with that picture on the screen and said "I need those boots in ONE SECOND".  

And she got them, because, I mean, look at 'em...

We walked outside one morning and heard a bird chirping.  She screamed, "MOMMY!  That's a pecker!"  Apparently my mom taught her about woodpeckers....

While she was putting lipstick on me one day she said, "Mommy you are SOOOO not pretty yet".  

While in timeout for the third time in one day she yells between hiccups and sobs, "Mommy!  Come back in here and give me a hug and a kiss to make me feel better.  I am a good girl!" 

And finally, while sitting on the deck with Lonnie and I one afternoon she said, "Let's not chill anymore.  I don't like rewaxing or chilling".  Okayyyy.  

Down and out

Y'all.  I have been so out of it for a week.  I had a migraine.  I have never ever had one before and I seriously had no clue what they actually were.  I am so very sorry to migraine sufferers.  I thought they were just bad headaches.  No.  No no no.  

It all started last Sunday.  I had a headache.  I knew it felt sort of different but I popped some ad.vil and went on.  It didn't help.  So for the next 2 days nothing helped but the headache was bearable.  And then on Tuesday, it wasn't.  I remember going to the doctor with my mom that morning and then I went to get my hair done.  I vaguely remember being there and I did tell her to hurry because I needed to lay down.  She did and I left there with my hair wet.  (Writing this out makes me realize that I don't remember paying her?  OMG...must call her)  I came home and set my phone alarm for 2:30 since I was going to have to go get B from MDO by 3:30.  I don't remember waking up.  I don't remember going to get her.  Apparently, at some point I called Lonnie and he could tell I was in major pain so he called his mom to come over to help me...she lives and hour and a half away.  

I came straight home and put a movie on for Blakely.  I do remember that.  She laid on the couch with me while I tried to just survive the hours until my MIL got here or Lonnie got home.  I tried everything.  Ad.vil, Tyle.nol, Ex.cedrin.  I used my essential oils and they were the only thing that gave me the tiniest bit of relief but it was always short lived.  I was getting so sick that I couldn't even get up to get the oils.  I finally broke down and took one of Lonnie's pain pills.  Nothing.  Took another one.  Nothing.

migraine hell hell hell

Wednesday morning Lonnie made me take a muscle relaxer because we thought maybe it was a tension headache because it felt like I had a knife going from the base of my skull on the right side all the way through my right eyeball.  It did not help.  I called my doctor crying and they told me to come right in.  That sounded like the worst thing ever but I had to get some relief.  I really don't remember much about being there.  I know I was curled up in the dark room for quite a few hours.  He gave me a pill that helps with migraines and wanted me to stay to see if it helped.  It helped a tiny bit.  Like made it to where I could get in a certain position and I didn't want to throw up all over the place.  

I still couldn't move much without feeling like death.  They gave me a shot of Deme.rol and Phener.gan.  I had to call my MIL to come get me and take me home since I now couldn't drive.  I don't remember that but I do remember waking up on the couch at my house and feeling better if I didn't move at all.  I had to go to the hospital to get a CT of my head just in case.  I don't remember that.  I really don't remember anything until about Friday.  I stayed in bed or on the couch and my MIL took care of B the whole time.  

He gave me a nasal spray (narcotic) to help with the migraine pain.  Let me tell you about that stuff.  Whoa.  I have never been so loopy in my life.  But it worked.  Sweet relief.  I was so happy to have relief.  But about 3 hours later the pain would come raging back so I had to stay loopy for a few days.  

Saturday I woke up with no headache.  Thank God.  But I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  And I still do.  I am getting better but I still don't feel right.  I have a few friends that suffer from migraines and they said that for a few days after a bad one it is normal to feel pretty terrible.  I have ZERO energy.  It takes all I have to walk up the stairs in our house.  I feel shaky and tired.  Ugh.  

Anyway, there is my story.  I have never had a migraine before and let me tell you I NEVER WANT ONE AGAIN.  I am so sorry to anyone who has ever had one and I doubted your pain.  I was a complete and total idiot.  I am sure mine was stress induced because this summer has been pretty damn stressful around these parts.  Let's hope I am back to normal tomorrow.  I have stuff to do!  

A little funny for you.  Lonnie told me I needed to pick up his prescription at the pharmacy today.  So I called a little bit ago and she told me that I can't get it until we are out of the one we just refilled.  I said but I haven't ever picked this prescription up?!  She was like, yes ma'am you did.  Last Monday.  I have your signature right here.  I walk over to our medicine cabinet and there it is.  I don't remember that at all.  I felt like an idiot.  But seriously, how scary?  

The good news is that Blakely was a total trooper throughout all of this.  She kissed my head and asked me multiple times a day, "How you feeling, Mommy?  Head feeling better yet?"  Sweet girl.  

No more migraines, please.  

First hair cut

On July 17th, at 2.75 years old, Blakely got her very first haircut.  I know that sounds crazy.  I really should have done it a few months ago but time just got away from me.  The girl had some seriously stringy hair and needed a trim like whoa.  I took her to my friend Hannah.  She does my hair and Lonnie's too.  Blakely has been with us a few times so I knew she would do fine sitting in the chair.  Hannah has even put her in the chair and brushed her hair before.  

I just wanted a tiny trim and that is exactly what Hannah did.  It immediately looked so much healthier.  The front part of her hair is starting to FINALLY catch up to the back now as well. I think in another month or so I will take her back for another trim.  

You can't even really tell a difference in the before and after pictures.  Except that her hair is dirtier in the after pics.  I took the before's before she went to MDO and the after was after a full day of playing and sweating.  Anyway, for documentation sake...

I really should take a better picture because now you can tell a difference when she wears her hair down.  One thing is for sure...her hair is getting so long!  

Crazy summer

I feel like this is the lost summer or something.  I can't believe it is already August!  Things have been so crazy and I feel like all I have blogged about is our IVF and Lonnie being sick. Those are the two biggest things going on right now but we have been doing other things too!  A quick update on both of those and the some pictures of what we have been up to.  

Lonnie is better.  After a week in the hospital and a week at home on antibiotics, today is his first full day back to work.  I talked to him earlier and he was tired and his back was hurting but he was okay.  He started complaining of a back spasm on Friday and that makes me very nervous but hopefully it is nothing.  We had a follow up with our doctor last week and as of right now we don't know what caused his meningitis.  Our (wonderful) doctor is worried that both of his weird illnesses this summer are caused by something else that is going on with him.  I am hoping that is not the case but we are to inform him of any changes in symptoms.  He is finally done with his at home antibiotics and he let me pull his PICC line out...FUN!  

Since we had to postpone our embryo transfer we are looking at about a 6-8 week wait until another transfer.  As of right now the temporary date for the transfer is September 19.  I am about to start over on all of the hormones in a few days.  That doesn't sound fun but I am more than ready to get the process started and get pregnant!  

Soooooo.....what else have we been doing?

The weather here has been unreal amazing.  We haven't even hit 100 yet and that is just unheard of.  We have been trying to take advantage of that.  

We have been to my grandfather's pool a few times.

Pool days always in up in car sleeping.  

We have been to the library story and craft time.  Mainly she loves the painting there.  

We went to the park and had a picnic.  Trying to get Daddy out of the house a little.  

We have taken walks in our neighborhood and since B can ride her tricycle now she does that about half and then walks the other half.  

I hav been playing softball.  It is really fun and this week is our last week.  It is a long commitment and I sometimes I don't want to go but I like it and hope to keep doing it in the fall!  Here I am about to go play IN THE RAIN.  They only cancel for lightening and this was just an all day rain shower.  It was...interesting.  ;)

And I got this injury.  This is about 5 days after so it looks much better than it did.  

Some d-bag slid into me at second and was basically trying to knock me over.  I guess he thought since I was a girl he could intimidate me by doing that.  Well he can't.  And he didn't.  I got him out.  Go sit down.  ;)

Blakely loves watching me play so we have been setting up the t-ball and teaching her how to play.  After my games she loves to run the bases so at home it is her favorite too.  

She did this probably 25 times!  She started sliding into third all on her own.  Ha!  

Hopefully things are settling down around here.  MDO starts back up again in a couple of weeks so I am going to enjoy these last few days home with my girl while I can!  

Where I should be

I should be in Denver right now snuggled up with two perfect embryos.  Having my aunt wait on me hand and foot so I can lay in bed and pray for those perfect embryos to stick.  

But that is not the case.  We postponed our embryo transfer so I am here, at home.  It was a tough decision and it wasn't all at the same time.  We wanted to go ahead with it so bad but Lonnie was just too sick.  I would have been worried about him constantly and that is not conducive to trying to get pregnant.  I talked to my nurse and she made me feel better about it, she said it happens sometimes.  We would have had regrets if we went through with it in haste and it didn't work.  Should we have waited?  Did the stress play a factor?  Why did we rush it?

So I am here.  At home.  And that is right where I should be.  Taking care of my husband.  Hooking him up to his IV three times a day, forcing him to drink more Gato.rade and asking him too many times how he is feeling.  Our little embryos will be there in a few months when the timing is right.  :)