Outsourcing

The other day I mentioned that Brenda has started work for me.  A few of you asked what she was doing and I wanted to write a whole post on that so here goes.  This may get wordy and long.  Probably because I have very strong feelings about it and it has taken me a long time to process why I get so feely about this subject.  Ummmm....pregnant.  Anyway...

A couple of months ago Lonnie and I were talking about how we needed a little more help around the house.  Right now we have Juanet that comes and cleans for 4 hours every Tuesday.  We needed more.  I was VERY resistant to this idea.  I always become a little defiant when he has mentioned this before because I guess I feel like it is an attack on me.  It's not and he never broaches it in that manner.  But I am sensitive apparently.  

But as this pregnancy has progressed I realize that he is right.  We do need more help around the house.  And especially more help when the babies come.  My whole thing was I did not want a nanny...like every single human being tells me that I need.  

Have you hired a nanny?  

Who is going to be your nanny?

You are going to need a nanny!

But I couldn't deny that we could use some help around the house and that it would be nice to have another set of hands here during the day when the babes are little.  Because more than likely Lonnie will get a couple of days off if that much and then I will be flying solo.  Little scary.  

We had many a talk about exactly what we would like and how we were going to go about getting it.  He wanted 4 days a week.  I wanted 2 days a week.  He kept calling it a nanny.  That would piss me off.  We can't look for a nanny and then say OH HEY we want you to clean the house, do some laundry, do the dishes and keep me organized.  If you say nanny then they think they are taking care of babies!  IIIII want to take care of the babies and someone else to do all the other crap.  He thought it would be easy to find someone.  I didn't really even know that I would ever let someone into my house to do these things. 

I am not sure exactly what my hang up was.  There were a lot of little things that I thought about so I will just jot them down here.  

• I didn't want anyone in my house.  We have Juanet and that's all I want.
• I don't want to learn how to take care of newborn twins and a 3 year old in front of someone new.  (i.e.not my mom or Lonnie)
• I am supposed to trust someone to watch said newborn twins while I take a nap after not sleeping all night?  Funny.  
• I'd like to have some time to myself.  I mean not just myself.  Myself + children.  But the thought of having someone here everyday sounded like a nightmare to me.  What if I needed a glass of wine at noon?  (JUST KIDDING)  (NOT REALLY)
• I didn't want to feel like I had to "put on" for someone.  Let's be real.  When Blakely was a newborn I walked around in mesh panties for a month and cried every single day.  I felt like if we had someone here during the day with me that I would feel pressure to actually get dressed and act like a normal human being.  (Now that I type this maybe that would be a good thing!)

So all of that.  I am sure I was over thinking it but still.  This is a big deal.  After a while of discussing it I realized that yes, in fact, we do need to find someone.  We made a list, a sort of job description if you will.  I felt like this was important because I didn't want there to be any confusion about what would be expected of this person.  

I think the thing that changed my mind about getting help was that I want to be able to take care of my babies.  I do not want to do the dishes!  Ha!  I would like to focus my attention on my kids and be able to do the things for them that I enjoy doing.  Of course I will have to do house stuff too but the more help I have in that area the better.  I mean we let someone do our yard work because Lonnie doesn't want to do it!  Like Shannon said, outsource when and where possible.

And then we talked to Juanet.  

When we began talking about this my first (and only) thought was that it HAS TO BE JUANET.  No questions.  It has to be her.  She has worked for us for 8 years.  Over that time she has become a very close friend to me.  She knows everything.  I am pretty sure when someone cleans your house for that long they know you better than, well, anyone.  She loves Blakely and she loves these new babies.  She has cried with me through infertility and she has prayed for my babies like they were her own.  She is just one of those people that you know there should be more of in the world.  It had to be her and I knew that she wouldn't be able to do it. 

Because I am not the only one who realizes how awesome Juanet is!  She watches kids on M, W, F and cleans houses on T, TH.  One of the kids she watches is her less than one year old granddaughter and her close friend's son (4).  She is committed to that and I understand that.  Honestly, that is one of the reasons she is so great.  She is not going to leave the people she is close to hanging.  And boy would they be hanging if she left them!  And they would probably come looking for me.  Ha!  But I though we may have a chance to get her to stop cleaning houses on T + TH.  I knew it was a long shot but it was our only shot.  The people she cleans for are her close friends, like me.  She has been cleaning them all longer than me (8 years) except for one.

To make this story a little less of a novel we approached her about the job.  Lonnie and I talked to her about it and let her think about it for a while.  I knew it wasn't going to happen.  I knew she was upset about it.  She wants to do it but she just can't right now.  If it were a year from now then she would be able to make something work.  But right now she just can't.  We talked about the T + TH thing and we worked out where she could come all day Tuesday instead of just 4 hours when the babies come.  That was a start.

Lonnie and I had compromised on having someone come 3 days a week.  So now we just needed to find someone to come those other 2 days.  I seriously had no idea where to start. Juanet also babysits for a lot of different people so I told her if she knew of anyone else of heard anything to let us know.  We let a few other people know what we were looking for as well.  

Not 2 days later we heard about a lady named Brenda.  Juanet had mentioned that an acquaintance of ours (M) had a lady that came to help her out a couple of days a week and she would ask her about it.  Well M's daughter is Blakely's age and they are in the same gymnastics class so I talked to her about it.  I could not believe what she was telling me.  This lady sounded perfect.  M had been using her since her 3rd was born and she told me of 4 other couples that we knew that had used her.  There were a couple of other mom's at gymnastics that were like "Oh are you talking about Brenda?  We LOOOOVE her".  She cleans, she organizes like crazy, she does laundry at no extra charge and she loves kids.  A couple of them said Brenda was the only other person on the planet they would let drive their kids somewhere.  One mom said she was the only person she has let babysit over night.  It was sounding real good.  So I called her up and she came over for an interview.  

Let me tell you I was nervous.  I mean I have never done this before.  But hearing all these other mom's talk about it made me realize that I am not the only person looking for this kind of help.  I wanted her to like us!  She is apparently a hot commodity and she sounded perfect so I was pinning my hopes on this.  And then Brenda strolled through the door and I was instantly put at ease.  She is so nice and sweet.  We talked to her about the things we wanted and she never batted an eye.  She said those are all the things she does for other families so this would be perfect and she wanted to do it.  She wanted more steady work so 2 days a week was great.  She has so much experience with this exact type of job.  She has watched lots of kids of all different ages and she has even taken care of twins before.  The only thing she didn't want to do was every Friday.  You see because she babysits frequently for people who go out of town for the weekend so she wants to leave that option open.  Ummm, hello fine with me.  I wanted to hire her on the spot.  Could she be more perfect?  She literally retired from her job early to do this job and she said she would have done it a lot sooner if she had realized people needed it so much!  

A few days later I called her and we hired her.  We had discussed at the "interview" (I guess you would call it that) what we were looking for immediately and what we wanted when the babies come.

She is going to come once a week starting right now.  So she can get to know our house and Blakely, of course.  If I go on bed rest at any point we want her to start 2 days a week.  And then 2 days a week when the babies come.  

I was really nervous Wednesday for her to come the next day.  I was trying to make a list of things she could do.  Lonnie thinks I am being overly dramatic about all of this.  I tell him he doesn't understand because he isn't the one at home with someone new for 8 hours!  But on Wednesday night he was really sweet and told me that the next day was a big day and he wished he could be there with me.  He could tell I was nervous.  I know it sounds stupid but it is just hard to let someone come into your house and see all your stuff?  Am I right?  Am I the only one who feels this way?  Also, I don't have the twins yet!  It is just me and Blakely so I wasn't really sure what I was going to have her do.  She was coming for 8 hours and there is no way I can stay upright for 8 hours.  I was unsure about saying, Oh I need to go lay down now while you work in my house.  Weird.  But that is why we have her coming one day right now so I can rest when I need to.  It made me feel a little lazy but like Lonnie told me, keeping the babies in is the most important thing right now so I have to do what I have to do.  

She came with me to take Blakely to gymnastics.  I wanted her to know how to do that in case I need her to at some point.  She started some laundry and did the dishes.  She played with Blakely and she organized some of my cabinets.  But the biggest thing she did was she organized my OUT OF CONTROL pantry.  Like took everything out, wiped down the shelves and put every thing back in.  Well not everything...we threw a lot of stuff out and there were a few garage sale items in there as well.  When it was time for B's nap I told her I needed to lay on the couch for a while.  I was getting SO uncomfortable in the kitchen chair.  My back was killing my and my lady parts were a.ch.ing (please don't let that turn up a go.o.gle search).  She was fine with that.  She kept organizing away and would occasionally come in and ask me about a few things.  At one point I thought I might cry.  I need to do these things so bad but I am just not able to physically do them.  This pregnancy  is so very different than Blakely's and I am fine with that.  But it is a little overwhelming to see all the things that need to be done and know that you can't do them.  I told her how much I appreciated how she was helping me and she had no idea how happy it made me.  She said you have no idea how happy it makes me to help you and to do things like this!  So yeah.  She is awesome.  

I know this turned out to be the longest post ever but I didn't want to split it into 2 because...boring.  But it has just been a little bit of a journey for me to accept this help and I still get nervous about it sometimes so I wanted to document.  I am sure in a few months I will look back and laugh at myself!  

Long story short I went from not wanting help to thanking my lucky stars that I found this woman.  She is going to be wonderful for my family.  She already is and she has been here one day.  Thank you universe for sending her my way.  

Daddy's Girl

These two people that I live with are kinda weird.  In a good way.  They have this special bond and I love to see it.

Every single day when Lonnie gets home it is the same routine.  Blakely hears the garage door go up and she yells, "It's Daddy!".  She runs and opens the door to the garage and yells DADDY until she hears him say "come on out".  Then she sprints up to him.  They get the paper and check the mailbox.  Then they come inside.  

After he changes clothes they begin their little routine.  They play chase and hide and seek until he can't play anymore and he goes and sits in his spot on the couch.  She promptly sits in her spot right in his lap.  They proceed to play with and annoy each other for the next hour.  Sometimes my mom is here and we just look at each other like "they are so weird!".

They tickle and poke each other.  They play giant and monster.  They growl, roar and laugh at each other.  She tries to freeze him while he blocks the El.sa curses.  He hides stuff behind her ear.  She hides herself under his shirt.  I swear they have their own little language because sometimes I have no clue what they are saying or talking about but they totally get it.  They do spider tickles (?), play juggins/sluggins/buggins (??) and there is always some sorter of fee fie foe fum game (???).  

Sometimes they just talk too.  She will ask him questions and he answers which leads to more questions.  I have overheard him explaining evaporation, telling her how he fixes things on his patients, why he needs to go to work to make money and the phases of the moon.  She listens intently to every word.  

After about an hour of this crazy she will remember I am there and look over and say, "I'm hungry now, Mommy".  Ha!  

The other day as I was laying on the couch watching them (and being completely ignored by them) I realized I haven't really taken any pictures of this and I should.  So I grabbed my phone and snapped a few.  Most of them turned out super blurry of course.  

But at one point, while they were catching their breath from all the tickles, she did this.  

And I just thought it was perfect.  This picture sums up exactly how she feels about him.  Completely enthralled.  It might be my favorite ever.  

I love these two weirdos.  

a whole lot of random!

• Did anyone watch the Grammy's?  Sam Smith rocks my world.  Not even kidding.  I could listen to him sing forever.  Amaze.  

• So fired up about my Pats winning the Super Bowl.  Did you watch?  That ending was so crazy.  I could not pick my jaw up off the floor.  This was the first year I watched it without Sarah so we texted about 400 times during the game.  I told her never again!  

• The house is coming along but we've reached the point where I want it done.  Like now.  I know it takes a little time but I am ready to have the rooms set up and all this shit out of here.  I am hoping by mid March that will be the case.  I sold our bedroom furniture and they are coming to get it on the 20th.  They are also moving all of Blakely's furniture into the baby room that same day.  I need to get the second crib and go ahead and order B's furniture and then the basics of the rooms will be ready.  I have been waiting to order Blakely's new stuff until we actually had a place to put it!  

• The weather is getting better here although I am sure since I say that it will be 25 tomorrow.  Arkansas weather is so weird.  One day it feels like Spring and then 12 hours later it will be bitter cold with a serious wind chill.  

• This is a pretty busy week for me.  Busy for pregnant with twins me not just regular old me.  
• Monday-I sent B with Juanet, ran to Walmart to get stuff to make Valentine's for B's class and stuff for their parties and then came back home.  Jennifer (the girl helping me organize and prep for the garage sale) is about to be here and we are going to work all day.
• Tuesday-take B to school.  Juanet comes to clean and Jennifer is coming for a half day.  My MIL is coming in the afternoon with groceries (thank God).  B has dance at 5.  
• Wednesday-take B to school.  I WILL REST AFTER THAT.  I WILL.  She has dance portraits at 3:20 so I have to pick her up around 1:30 and bring her home to get ready for those.  Then take her to those and come home.  Lonnie is on call so I am on B duty all evening.  
• Thursday- Brenda's first day on the job.  B has gymnastics at 9.  Come back home and work around the house with Brenda and Blakely.  This is a kinda "getting to know you and your house phase".  I feel a little awkward about it but I know it is going to work out.  Just have to get through these first few times.  But the main reason she is starting now is so I can get some rest if needed.  Well you tell me but I think it is pretty impossible to just lay on the couch while someone is in your house!  Especially since I kind of need to show her what I want her to do, what is off limits, etc.  I'm nervous.   
• Friday-B is home with me all day.  I have to take her to my aunt's house at 1200 and meet my mom there.  Then I am going with mom to her pacemaker appointment in Litt.le R.ock at 3:15...it takes a little over an hour to get there....while B stays with Jenni.  If I feel up for it we are going to stop at Babi.es R u.s to check out cribs and strollers real quick.  
• Saturday-Can I get a day date with my honey?  Please?  

• Yesterday was the first Sunday without football and it was weird!  I wasn't sure what to do with myself so I got my craft on.  I'd show you what I am working on but I need to see how it turns out first.  It is for the twins room.  Blakely is trying to help me because the girl looooves to craft.  

• Well Jennifer just called and she isn't coming.  Grrrrrrr.  I am not happy about it but I understand (family stuff).  So now I have until B gets home to myself.  I want to get some stuff done (laundry, clean out my closet, dishes) but I know I should take this opportunity to relax.  

• I guess that is all from here.  I am going to prop up on the couch and, well, I don't know.  My mind is telling me a million things I want to get done but my body is telling me to chill the eff out.  I am sure I will find a happy medium.  Happy Monday friends!  

Blakely Lately

A few things about my girl recently.  

She is obsessed with her nightgowns.  That is all she wears when we are at home and it is a struggle to get her into real clothes to leave the house.  She had quite a few that were too small but you couldn't tell her that.  Finally I convinced her to put the small ones away for baby sister by getting her two new ones that fit her great.  She was thrilled.  I mean the look of joy on her face when I presented her with a new Sno.w W.hite and Cin.derella nightgown was enough to make me teary.  She happily packed up the too small ones.  She doesn't just wear them either.  She uses them as a blanket for her peeps.  She lays all of them out so it is a constant maze in my living room.  She changes into a new nightgown about every 30 minutes or so.  Thankfully she has learned how to do that herself so I don't have to help her anymore.

If she is not in a nightgown (rare) then she is dressed up in some sort of super hero/princess dress.  

She is little miss sassy pants.  She has started talking back and it drives me nuts.  When she gets in a mood she will talk back or yell at me NO!  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!  Ummmm...yes.  Yes you are.  We have been using timeouts but what really seems to work is taking away a privilege.  We have talked to her a lot about all of the fun toys she has and the fun things that she gets to do and how those are privileges that she can lose if she is naughty.  So when she acts like that she loses something.  We usual talk about what it is going to be after her timeout.  The main things that she hates losing are her nightgowns (lol), her peeps (babies and stuffed animals that she constantly plays with), fingernail polish or her show before bedtime.  Honestly it makes my life more difficult when she loses one of those things but it seems to get through to her so we press on.  

The days of me picking out what she has to wear are few and far between now.  She has such an opinion.  Well really she just doesn't want to wear what I pick out.  It doesn't matter what it is...it could be her favorite thing but she will say no just because it is what I suggest.  I see this happening a lot.  With her food as well.  If I offer it then she doesn't want it.  She wants to come up with the idea herself.  I am learning to maneuver around this.

Me:  I think this tank top would be great to wear in this 30 degree weather.  

B:  No I want to wear this sweater.  (MOM WIN)

She likes to help me cook.  I try to let her as much as I can but I am probably not as good at this as I should be.  I just want to whip it up and get it done.  Having her help me takes so much longer and makes a much bigger mess.  I am going to try and do better at this because she is always so proud to tell Lonnie what she made for dinner.  We have been making some sweet treats lately (thank you pregnancy) and she LOVES to help with that.  She always says we are "making sumptin in the oven for Daddy".  

She DOES NOT want her picture taken.  I have to bribe her to even look towards the camera.  Hopefully this is just a phase...a long one.  :/

She definitely has a best friend.  We will call her R.  They were in the same gymnastics class for about a year until last summer when R stopped doing it.  Then R started going to MDO and that is when they really started being BFF.  They are also in the same dance class and now R has started back up in gymnastics.  It is pretty cute to watch them.  When we get to MDO or class or whatever they run and give each other a hug and immediately start playing.  Her mom and I have become friends and we laugh at how much they talk about each other when at home.  

She is very helpful.  Most of the time anyway.  She constantly wants to help us do the things we are doing.  Whether it is making a smoothie, organizing her toys or sorting Daddy's coin collection she wants to have a job to help us.  Just today I went through my dresser drawers and it was her job to put things into the different piles.  I hope this keeps up when the babies get here!  

sorting Daddy's coin collection

making a smoothie

She asks "why" all.  the.  time.  She wants to know the why about everything.  Sometimes it can drive me crazy if I feel like I have answered her more than once.  But normally if you just explain things to her then she is okay.  She just wants to understand.  Why is it raining?  Why do you take a bath every night, Mom?  Why do we need to get gas in the car?  Why are we driving Daddy's car today?  Why does Daddy have to go to work today?  There are about 4 follow up "why's" to each of these.  She is not satisfied with a "that's just the way it is" answer.  Sometimes I really have to think about how to explain things to her.  

She used to be such a snuggle bug in the morning.  She would come get in bed with me when she woke up and cuddle for a good 30 minutes.  Now she wakes up ready to GO GO GO.  She refuses to come into my room and just want to go upstairs and play.  This is super hard on mama...it takes me a while to roll out of bed in the mornings.  

This was at 7 am.  She brought these paper dolls to me while I was still sleeping and told me she was ready to play with them on her tea party table.  Also....her eyes and lips.  I mean...

She will still snuggle before nap though so I shouldn't complain!

She loves watching gymnastics on tv.  Grand called me one night to tell me college gymnastics was on tv and she thought B might like it.  I recorded it and we have watched it a lot since.  She runs around all over the living room trying to do what she is seeing on the tv.  Cartwheels, jumps, rolls and twirls.  She finally made us bring her trampoline in the living room so she could get more air during her moves.  It is pretty cute.  When her routine is over she runs over and gives us all a high five like the "big gulls" do.  I am just waiting for the time when she just does a back flip off the couch.  Matter of time.  I love this video so much.  

She is eating constantly lately.  And I am not kidding.  She normally has 2 breakfasts before 10am.  The first is usually 2 pieces of toast either with butter or peanut butter and some sort of fruit.  Then the second is another fruit, yogurt or some eggs.  Then she wants lunch around 1030!  She wants to snack all the time.  I am pretty strict about no snacking when it is close to a meal time because it was always ruining her dinner.  But right now she could snack and then eat a large meal as well.  She has always eaten dinner and then nothing after that.  Now she has to have a snack before bed.  I guess it is just a growth spurt because she is sleeping better too.  

Some funny things she has said lately.  

Me:  That was a good idea B.  Who taught you that?  

B:  No one, Mommy.  It was just in my brain!  


Sarah and I were having a conversation and she was trying to get our attention.  Finally she got frustrated and walked right over to us and said, "Stop the words!"  We cracked up and stopped talking to see what she wanted.  


She spent the night with my mom last Saturday night.  She kept asking GranDi when the "Tomball" game was on.  Ha!  I guess I have been talking a lot about the Sup.er Bo.wl lately.  

Random things she likes:
pears
hide and seek
rinsing off her own dishes
crafts
her piggy bank


Random things she dislikes:
putting her hair up
brushing her hair
water in her eyes
our dog :/
washing her face after meals

Lately Lonnie and I will just look at each other sometimes and be like "omg she is such a little girl".  She is definitely not a toddler anymore so I guess the next description is preschooler?  She is very logical and can be reasoned with most of the time.  We find if we talk to her like an adult or explain her discipline to her like an adult then she responds really well.  I can't believe we got so lucky to be her parents.  She is so full of personality and is a joy to be around.  She makes us both smile and can brighten up any foul mood.  I have loved watching her grow and I can't wait to see her bond with the new babies!  

Go Patriots!

Just dropping in on a Sunday to say GO PATRIOTS!  

This pic was taken 2 Sundays ago during the AFC Championship game but we will be rocking the same gear today.  The only difference is the belly size!  

Y'all know I love me some Patriots.  Which is weird since I live in Arkansas and every other human here is a Cowboys fan.  But not these girls!  In this house we cheer for the Pats.  We are all pumped for the game.  And the food.  Excited for that too.  

Let's bring home the win boys!  And as Blakely would say....GOOOOOO TOM BABY!  LET'S WIN THE TOMABALL GAME!  :) 

Whew!

What a week!  

Lonnie has been off so I had our organizer girl come three full days (M, T, W) this week so we could tackle the things that we needed his help with.  He is not off again until mid March and I knew we needed to get these things done because I would like to have the garage sale as soon as possible.

I tried to prepare him for what I wanted to do but I don't think he fully understood.  9-4 each day going through things, cleaning out things and sorting things.  There was not going to be any, "oh I don't want to go through that box" or "oh, I'll go through that one later".  No.  We were doing it.  Right then.  We started in his office which was a freakin' wreck and once that was done we moved to the master closet downstairs.  There were a ton of my keepsake boxes from college and high school that I went through and consolidated.  Then we moved to the garage.  This forced Lonnie to go through a bunch of boxes that he has been putting off going through.  His Dad died almost 10 years ago and he has a lot of his stuff.  He went though all of that and I was so proud of him.  About midway through the second day he was done.  Over it.  But I made him push through just so we could finish.  And we did.  Whew.  He was mad at me but I think he's over it now ;)  And he loves the fact that it is done.  

We got a lot more done than I even imagined.  I wanted to complete his office but we were able to do that plus empty out the closet downstairs (which is where we will store the sorted boxes AND it is the nursery closet...it is really big) and then move to the garage.  I did NOT think we would get to the garage but that is why I hired this girl.  She keeps us on track!  I will post pictures when everything is final.  All areas are still a work in progress until we clean out all other areas and then have the garage sale.  

Also on Tuesday we interviewed a lady who is going to help us with housework a few days a week when the babies come.  An entire post on that later.  But that was just one more thing to add to the list of stuff to do (and prepare for).  Then Blakely had dance and that night and my MIL came over.  

This morning we took B to gymnastics and then came home so I could finish going through a few more things while Lonnie took a nap.  Then he went to an afternoon and evening full of meetings.  I am WORN OUT.  So I am propped up on the couch typing this while B watches F.rozen.  

Tomorrow we have a window guy coming to give us an estimate on new kitchen windows because one of them is broken.  Turns out they aren't tempered glass and they are supposed to be (but weren't required to be when this house was built).  They go to the floor so we are looking at replacing 2 others besides the broken one.  Fun.  Lonnie has to go through the last bit of paperwork in his office (future guest bedroom) or my head may explode.  I am ready to rearrange the furniture and hang stuff on the walls to actually complete a room.  I honestly try really hard not to nag Lonnie ever.  I never make "honey-do" lists for when he is off and I just let him get around to doing certain things in his own time.  But this week I have really been on him.  He knew it was coming but I think he will be glad when this week is over and he can go back to work!  Ha!  

I also have a friend coming tomorrow to look at our bedroom set that is in the babies room.  Hopefully she is going to buy it because then I will actually have a nursery.   Whoop!

It has been a long week but a crazy productive week.  I have felt pretty good and that helped a lot.  My girl is coming 2 days again next week so we can tackle my crazy areas of the house (craft closet...oy).  Things are moving faster than I thought and we already have a ton of garage sale stuff.  Man I can't wait to get that crap outta here.  It is going to feel so good!   

Medicine cabinet

The other day Lonnie got tired of the craziness in our medicine cabinet and decided to clean it out.  He said I didn't even need to help him.  Wait.  What?  

Obviously I told him to go for it.  I didn't take a before picture but you can just imagine three shelves overflowing with medications and vitamins.  A lot of it was leftover stuff from IVF and then just random bottles of Ty.lenol, etc.  

Anyway, we went through every single item and ended up with quite bit to take to the hospital medical waste.  I had some leftover medicine that I donated to my clinic since they were unopened.  

The point of this post is not about the cleaning out of the cabinet.  The point is that I wanted to show you this picture.  

That is 10 full sharps containers.  TEN.  FULL.  The one on the far right is about halfway full but the other are brimming.  All of these are from trying for baby #2.  When I was working at the hospital while trying to get pregnant with B I would take them occasional and empty them in to the sharps containers there.  But now that I don't work there they have just piled up over the last 2 1/2 years.  These are the needles from one frozen embryo transfer and 3 IVF's.  Geez.  Just call me a pincushion!  

It felt good to get rid of all of that...the medication included.  Part of me wanted to wallow in the fact that I even had to poke myself that many times.  Wah wah wah.  But ya know what?  It was worth it and I knew that it would be.  That is why I kept going.  I am so thankful to be where we are right now.  I am so thankful that we were ABLE to keep going.  Sometimes it still feels surreal.  Like I am going to wake up and all of this was just a dream.  Then I get a swift kick to the bladder as a reminder that THIS IS HAPPENING.  This girl is so happy and so in love with these two tiny miracles.  

Baby girl

Baby boy