A letter to my daughter...100th post

Dear Blakely Ann,

  I have tried to write this letter to you for weeks now.  I tried while I was still pregnant with you but just couldn't find the right words.  Since your birth 10 days ago I have tried at least three times to write it but I get too emotional and can't finish.  When I even think about how much you mean to your daddy and I, I break down.  

  I have dreamed about you and longed for you to come into my life for many years.  We had to wait for what seemed like a very long time to experience the miracle of pregnancy but looking back now it was all totally worth it.  I loved every moment of being pregnant with you.  I did not take a single second for granted.  From the first time I felt your little flutters to when I could feel big punches and kicks.  My favorite thing was feeling your hiccups.  You seemed to get them all the time and you still do!  

  When I first saw your sweet face I was just in awe.  I couldn't not believe you were actually here and I could kiss you.  You were looking at me like what just happened?  I snuggled you close so you wouldn't be scared.  While you were in my belly I talked to you every night and told you how proud I was of you and that I couldn't wait to kiss you all over, from you fingers to your toes, from your nose to your earlobes.  One of the first things I did when you first came out was to kiss your little nose and tell you how proud I was of you.  I do this every time I change your diaper now. 

  Me and daddy have a hard time putting you down.  We waited so long to hold you and now that is all we want to do.  I know we are probably spoiling you but I don't care.  You are only going to be this small for a short time.  We can just stare at you for hours, watching all the little faces you make.  You have the cutest dimple in your chin just like daddy.  You also have the cutest dimple on your right cheek that simply makes me melt.  When we have visitors and you have been held by someone else for a while, I start to miss you.  I get overwhelmed with emotions and just need to snuggle with you.  Just a little Blakely snuggle and mommy is all better.  

  I love our snuggle time while I am feeding you.  I never thought I would think this but breastfeeding is the sweetest, most adorable thing I have ever seen.  I am so glad that it is going well for us both.  I look forward to it, even in the middle of the night.  I know I won't get to do this forever so I am taking all these precious moments in.  

  Just like any mommy I worry about you constantly.  I only thought I worried while I was pregnant!  The first three nights you were home with us I slept in my glasses.  I didn't want to have to fumble around to put them on every time I woke up.  I wanted to just be able to open my eyes and see that you were ok.  As I type this, you are sleeping soundly right by my chair.  This is the first time we have swaddled you and I am worried about the blanket coming undone and covering your face.  I just want to protect you from every little thing.  

  Blakely, I did not know my heart could be so full.  I feel so lucky to have you as my daughter.  I promise to be the best mommy I can be to you and I will always be here for you no matter what.  You have so many people that love you so much but none more than mommy and daddy.  

  I keep thinking back to something daddy said to me a few years ago.  It was when we were still trying to get pregnant and we were both very discouraged.  He told me to be patient because when we finally did get pregnant it would be with the perfect baby...the one that we were supposed to have.  He was so right.  You were meant to be our daughter and you are perfect.  

I love you more than anything sweet girl,

Mommy

Oh and just because it is too cute...here is a picture of that dimple :)

And this is a family picture on her one week birthday exactly.  October 20, 2011 at 244pm.

Please excuse my puffy and red eyes.  I think I cried that entire day.  I told her that if I cry that much at all of her birthdays then I am in big trouble!