There seems to constantly been 10 things that I HAVE to get done and I only have time for about three.
I just haven't found the balance yet, I guess.
I am so busy being a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a friend that there is absolutely no time for myself. I am plenty of other things as well but those are the main ones. The only alone time I can get is when I take a shower...which is actually a pretty rare occurrence around here. And about half of my showers are taken while Blakely is in the bouncer and I am singing to her the whole time..so that is definitely not time for me.
Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying every single minute of all of this. It is just that I am realizing that I need to make time for myself....or I am going to go bonkers. Seriously.
I spend all day trying to do the best for B that I can and I still feel like I am failing at that some days. For example, I really need to be giving her oatmeal every day so she will actually start eating it but I haven't been able to find the time. I need to be consistent with it or we will probably end up how we were with giving her a bottle...NOT FUN!
I spend all day trying to get stuff done around the house so my husband doesn't have to worry about it. I am not talking about cleaning or anything because that is just not happening. We live in a total mess until Tuesdays, when Juanet comes over and cleans. I would just shrivel up and die in this mess without her. I'm talking about all the other crap. Getting all of our tax stuff together, renewing our car registration, renewing the boat insurance and registration, getting the oil changed on our cars, paying all of the bills, etc. You know, just the normal stuff that keeps a household running. I feel like I can't ever get that stuff done on time.
I spend a ton of time trying to be a good friend. I love my friends and I love hanging out with them. I am having another baby shower at my house this weekend. I really enjoy hosting these showers for my friends but it does take up quite a bit of time. I am excited about it but also ready for it to be over all at the same time.
Since my mom has been living with us since the beginning of January, I have been spending a lot of time trying to be a good daughter. She never asks me for anything...even in the beginning when she couldn't get around at all. She doesn't want to be a burden and she doesn't expect anything from me. Literally there would be days I forgot to feed her. She never said anything until I realized at five o'clock that she hadn't eaten all day! I know she is so ready to go home and get back to her normal routine. I have really enjoyed having her here and I am going to miss her when she is gone :(
So after doing all of that every day, where is the time I spend on myself? Yeah, it doesn't exist. And I don't even have a job! Well I do have a job...this stay at home mom thing IS my job but you know what I mean. I think that is part of my problem though. I look at this as my job and feel like I need to get a certain amount accomplished each day. Like I need to have something to show my husband when he gets home. "Look honey, this is what I did today!" He works so hard every single second that he is at work and I just feel like I need to have something to show for my day. I can't just be like, well, I went and got a mani/pedi for myself today. Or I spent 2 hours reading blogs just for me.
On Sunday night I told Lonnie that I was going to take a bath with a glass of wine and let him put Blake to bed. Well once the time rolled around for me to do that I was so sleepy I just wanted to go to bed!! UGH! Maybe I should start getting up earlier than B so I can have an hour to myself? But I am so not a morning person and at this very moment that would mean getting up at 4...that should be illegal.
I guess it is just a constant struggle to find the balance in our lives. Some days I feel like I have this mommy thing down and I am super woman and then other days I feel like I totally suck. I am still learning...
How do y'all find the balance???
I completely understand what you are talking about since I stay home too. It is much more involved that most people think, entertaining and caring for Aiden is the majority of my day. If I'm lucky, I can Baby Bjorn him or put him in his high chair while I try to get dinners together. Honestly, I've found that taking advantage of the weekends to grocery shop and plan out meals is my biggest life saver. That way, I can chop veggies and organize the fridge for the week. It saves a ton a time! Also, I just sort of clean as I go and hold Aiden along the way. He hates when I leave him alone, even for a second, so I carry him around quite a bit. When he naps in his crib, I scramble like a crazy woman to clean, unload/reload dishwasher and take a shower. :-) My friends go to the gym with me for Bootcamp class, so that's how I get my social time...You are completely normal and it does take time to get in the groove of staying home and accomplishing everything.
ReplyDeleteI think you might be at a turning point here. In the next few months, I bet B will start to get in a good routine, be more independent and able to entertain herself for longer periods of time, so you can have some time to yourself. Is she a good napper? Use that time to do things for yourself, and not necessarily cleaning or other not-fun tasks. I think it's great that you are keeping at your relationships with friends and hosting events at your house is HUGE! It is a struggle to find the balance, but cut yourself a break and know there's always tomorrow. I wish we could have virtual babysitters in blogland and be able to watch each others kids here and there to allow the much-deserved parents a night out every once in a while! That would be fantastic!
ReplyDeleteUm, I think I just wrote about this- I hear you girl. I was just wondering how you were last night as I was going to bed. I can't find a balance and with Emily only taking 30 minute naps I get NOTHING done. Today I tried the wake to sleep technique to get her to nap longer and she's been asleep for 2 hours! thankthelord. hang in there. xoxox
ReplyDeleteBalance? Dear God, I had very little of that. However, we did hit a turning point when Petite was about 7 or 8 months old and magically she was able to amuse herself for a few minutes at a time, with me watching carefully from the kitchen while I did things. However, regular household stuff took more than that to come back to normal; Petite is 2 and we're just handling income tax from 2009 and 2010, let alone 2011! Seriously, it's not easy. But it will change and morph. One day at a time. You too can get through this; we all do. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI suspect that every new mom (maybe every mom?) drops some balls. It's just not possible to be everything to everyone. I, for example, am currently the world's worst friend. It sounds like you're doing really well even though it feels really tough.
ReplyDeleteI worry about this in the coming months as I will have to work outside the home as well as continue to juggle everything else. Someways without a child I can't do, I wonder how I will with a child!
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