Reasons for said funk...
1. WEATHER. I am over winter. I know we have a mild winter compared to a lot of you but it seems like there have been more dark/rainy/gray/icy/gross days than sunny but still cold days. Move on winter.
2. I was sick last week. Sick like whoa. It started on Wednesday while B was at MDO but she was home with me the rest of the week. I barely survived Thursday. All I wanted was to curl up in a ball and she was like LET'S PLAY JUMP RUN TOYS FOOD POTTY MOM! It was not easy. She was especially NOT independent and she was not having the "night night" game which is usually a fave. We made it through.
pretty much sums it up...
3. Lonnie was on call this weekend. I was still sick so that makes for bayyyysically no fun at all.
4. I miss my Lonnie. It seems that we haven't had any time just the 2 of us in 47 months. I'm exaggerating. You get my point. We have a little getaway planned for the next time he is off so I am counting down the days...hours...minutes...
5. I am kind of at a loss as to what to do about wanting to try for another baby. I've never felt this way about it. Before I just called the clinic and we got started in that direction. But since our clinic completely screwed us over in July I'm just not sure I can go back there. So then what? Any other clinic will require minimum of 5 hours of travel one way or a plane flight. Does that sound easy to you? No. So here I sit just wavering on what to do next. I am ready to do something I am just not sure what. It makes me feel yucky.
6. I am starting to feel the need for a change around these parts. I am sure all of the above whines lead my brain to thinking these things but I am just not feeling the stay at home mom gig right now. The other day someone asked me what I had been up to. Simple and innocent question. But all I could come up with was shit. I am sure they didn't want to hear about the fact that I had spent 3 hours that morning bribing Blakely to sit on the potty. Recently she has become deathly afraid of pooping. Apparently it hurt once or something so she was trying to hold it in. No amount of marshmallow bribery would work. We would play, she would grab her butt and yell poop, we would go to the toilet and she would jump right off of it. Repeat every 30-45 seconds for 3 hours until we had success. I literally could not come up with any other topic of conversation for my friend. Probably an ex-friend now! (I think we have since solved this problem. Thank God because one more episode like that may have sent me to crazytown) I am just itching to use my brain for something other than dishes, laundry, poop, bills, toddler games, dishes, cleaning, more toddler games, cooking, grocery shopping, more damn dishes, blah blah blah now I'm rambling. See? I have mushy brain.
Ok. I think that is enough. Woe is me and I need to get over it. I know and I will. Riiiight after I show you a little of this.
All photos by HER
Feel free to kick me in the booty for such a whiny post. At least there are pictures?
Gah - you can't end a sad post with those AMAZING photos!! I wanted to say "things will get better", but then I see your gorgeous family and I want to say "Can I please have your boots!?" Not fair.
ReplyDeleteOk, so you have the most BEEEEEAAAUUUTTTTIIIIFFFFUULLLL family pictures ever. Like Amazing...I just love them! You must frame them and hang them in your house. Like today. #2. I'm so so sad you were sick. It's been a horrible year for sickness. The two girls I watch are home sick today and I'm PRAYING that we don't get it. Oh God...please. NO. #3. I don't know which way you want to head in the baby #2 direction BUT..if you are comfortable with it, set up an appointment at your usual clinic with your RE and take Lonnie with you. Either you or Lonnie remind them how much they SCREWED SCREWED you over, and that IF you choose to use them again, they better get their shit together and you better be their #1 patient or else...If you don't get the sense that they take you seriously after that appointment, then for sure, go somewhere else. I know it's inconvenient to travel (believe me...we go 3 hours away, one way), especially 5 hours, BUT it's worth it if you get pregnant right? You have a great support network who can take B or you can take her with..whatever you decide I'm right here every step of the way ok?
ReplyDeleteAlso, it's ok to have a whiny post...like 100% ok. I want to do one too, but....my whining is because I agreed to a houseful of babies/toddlers and its no fault but my own! LOL Oh, and because of Aiden's "owie pee pee" incident, he will NEVER potty train or look at a potty ever again...UGH!
Have a drink and just know that tomorrow is a new day. Things are going to get better. Hang in there Kelly! Love you!!!!
It's totally fine to have a whiny post, that wasn't even that whiny, you have real things that are going on right now that suck, it's fair to be upset and bitch about them.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping you are feeling better! I can't imagine being sick all day with toddler with you over and over. One point for the working moms, I am paying for daycare anyways, may as well take her there so I can stay home and recover.
I like Heather's point about the clinic, give them a shot and then follow your gut. If it isn't right do the 5 hour thing, or wait a bit to figure out what you are comfortable with.
I hope things turn around, January is the YUCKIEST month of the year and it doesn't help when there are other things in the mix.
I LOVE your family pics, they are just amazing and you all look so great!~ Jealous of those fabulous boots!
What amazing pictures! You need to frame them all!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya on the funk! I hope it doesn't stick around too long.
Call you RE and talk to them. Tell them your concerns and be sure to voice your fears. Hopefully they will work it out.
Oh...and feel free to come and visit us in AZ...Its sunny and a high of 75 all week...not to rub it in...you should totally come...
ReplyDeleteI was wondering where youve been lately but i totally understand being in a rut. The cold weather especially after the holidays is hard on us too. Sorry to hear you were sick, that is so not fun and makes caring for a child seem like such an impossible task...at least for me. :) dont you have a free ivf at your current clinic? I can understand your hesitation to go back there though. And oh my gosh i am in love with those pictures!!! Every single one of them. Beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you have been in a funk lately! :( I think this time of year can be tough for a lot of people, and that is only made harder but additional things you are dealing with like missing Lonnie and planning what to do for #2. I really hope things start to look up soon and I hope you get some much needed time with Lonnie. What is the little getaway you have planned? I am sure you'll have a blast! I know you have since written a post about a possible next IVF since this one so I will comment on that one too.
ReplyDeleteLOVE these photos!!! What a gorgeous family you have! Perfect.
Hang in there and hope things are happier soon! :)